I think my heart stopped for 3 seconds when mama dropped the bomb.. Papa was hospitalized.. :((
Thank God, he's already home. But then, he's just lying there, in his room. I asked him how he's feeling. He said he can't feel anything, but good thing, he's responding. That's a good thing right? And I said, please hold on for a little longer, I'm not yet a lawyer.
In that moment, all I could think of was how grateful I am that my father survived. All my plans, all my what ifs, all my fears surfaced that very moment. I was scared that He would be gone without me reaching my dreams, without him seeing it all unfold.
Last Sunday, I overheard that Papa can no longer for even 10 meters without him already catching his breathe. Mama also told me that Papa is taking cabs in going to his workplace that's why our expenses got a little higher.
I blame myself for not trying harder in everything that's why Papa has to endure all the hardships in our family. I don't have a decent job. I always have a failing grade, every semester. What happened today was really a wake up call to me. I should try my hardest from today. I have to speed up. Time is running. Papa is already weak.
Lord, please help our family. I don't want to lose Papa yet. I know death is inevitable, but please, we're not yet ready. Please give him strength to endure all this. Please let him live for more years.
