You are the biggest lesson of 2016.

I have so many reasons to be angry at you, at me, at us. But I don't know what to feel. Of course I want you back. Pero yung thought na pinipilit na kita. Yung ayaw mo na talaga. Yung galit ka sakin. Di ko alam dapat ko maramdaman. If I was so convinced that all I need is acceptance to move on from this, why does it feel like my world crushed down? Bakit parang pinatay mo ko? Ian, ganito ba kasakit yung ginawa ko sayo? Naiintindihan ko na. Hindi galit yung naramdaman mo. Sakit. Dahil parang sinira ko buong pagkatao mo ng biglaan. Yung sobrang sakit gusto mo nalang tapusin lahat para tumigil ang sakit. Ian, sorry. Naiintindihan ko na. And now I understand why you finally had to end it. If it was me, I would have done the same thing. Yet love you from afar and never speak of us again. I can't say sorry enough to rectify the damage. Maybe I will still message/call you regardless if you read or not. I'm sorry. Truly sorry this time.

But my stand still remains. I love you. I will always love you. You are the biggest lesson of 2016.

I will love you. I eill always love you.

Ian, I never questioned your gender. Tumakbo sa utak mo lahat ng yan. Wala akong ginawang masama sayo. And even if I admit to it, hindi pa rin maaayos. I can't say that enough to make you believe it because something went on in your mind. I wanted to get involved with your life so I can understand because I am determined to stay. I am not eager at labeling you by gender because to me, you are the person that I love and my soul connected with you from the moment I saw you. But it's you that wanted more. I am never enough. I am always wrong. It's you that is always comparing me. It's you that have so many expectations, not me. My love was never enough. So I agree, mabuhay na tayo ng normal. Hindi, mabuhay na tayo ng naaayon sa kanya kanya nating pinanggalingang mundo kasi hindi na pwede yung mundo natin. Hihintayin pa rin kita. Hindi para bumalik sakin pero buksan ang mga mata mo, totoong buksan ang mga mata mo. Mahal na mahal kita. Magingat ka. Good luck.