Dear Lord,
I’m so tired and wasted. I really don’t know what to do next. What to do first and what to expect. Although I’ve been to the YCOM SHOUT, although I’ve learned so much on my stay to the SHOUT house, my worries, my insecurities are still there.
Before, I don’t care what my family will say, what other people will say regarding my service and my conviction. But now, it seems that everything that they say or think, I take it into heart. I know it’s wrong. It’s not them whom I serve but God alone.
Before, I don’t care if people will leave me. I don’t care if people have hard feelings towards me. I have learned to live alone. But now, it seems that I can’t live without them.
I cared about what they think. I cared about what they say.
I really don’t get it. Why suddenly I have this feelings of insecurities. I hate this feeling but I can’t control myself.
I am also bothered about my prayer time. No matter ho I busy myself on scheduling it, still it really won’t work. I can’t even concentrate on reflecting, on starting my plan of having a prayer notebook.
I love writing. I thought Ate Dana’s sharing will inspire me and motivate me into keeping my prayer time regular and strong. I am so concerned with this because I know I have to pray, I need to pray.
Lord, please help me regain my strength and passion in serving. I so love you Lord. I don’t want this feeling anymore. Fire me up again, please.
This I pray in your most mighty name, Amen.
Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
AMEN.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Gospel for the Day..
An Upright Intention in Almsgiving, Prayer and Fasting
(Jesus said to His disciples,) [1] “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in Heaven.
[2] “Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [3] But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, [4] so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
[5] “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [6] But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
[16] “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [17] But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, [18] that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
*** Commentary ***
1-18. “Piety”, here, means good works (cf. note on Matthew 5:6). Our Lord is indicating the kind of spirit in which we should do acts of personal piety. Almsgiving, fasting and prayer were the basic forms taken by personal piety among the chosen people --- which is why Jesus refers to these three subjects. With complete authority He teaches that true piety must be practiced with an upright intention, in the presence of God and without any ostentation. Piety practiced in this way implies exercising our faith in God who sees us --- and also in the safe knowledge that He will reward those who are sincerely devout.
5-6. Following the teaching of Jesus, the Church has always taught us to pray even when we were infants. By saying “you” (singular) our Lord is stating quite unequivocally the need for personal prayer --- relating as child to Father, alone with God.
Public prayer, for which Christ’s faithful assemble together, is something necessary and holy; but it should never displace obedience to this clear commandment of our Lord: “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father”.
The Second Vatican Council reminds us of the teaching and practice of the Church in its liturgy, which is “the summit toward which the activity of the Church is directed; it is also the fount from which all her power flows [...]. The spiritual life, however, is not limited solely to participation in the liturgy. The Christian is indeed called to pray with others, but he must also enter into his bedroom to pray to his Father in secret; furthermore, according to the teaching of the Apostle, he must pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)” (“Sacrosanctum Concilium”, 10 and 12).
A soul who really puts his Christian faith into practice realizes that he needs frequently to get away and pray alone to his Father, God. Jesus, who gives us this teaching about prayer, practiced it during His own life on earth: the holy Gospel reports that He often went apart to pray on His own: “At times He spent the whole night in an intimate conversation with His Father. The Apostles were filled with love when they saw Christ pray” (St. J. Escriva, “Christ Is Passing By”, 119; cf. Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; etc.). The Apostles followed the Master’s example, and so we see Peter going up to the rooftop of the house to pray in private, and receiving a revelation (cf. Acts 10:9-16). “Our life of prayer should also be based on some moments that are dedicated exclusively to our conversation with God, moments of silent dialogue” (“ibid”, 119).
16-18. Starting from the traditional practice of fasting, our Lord tells us the spirit in which we should exercise mortification of our senses: we should do so without ostentation, avoiding raise, discreetly; that way Jesus’ words will not apply to us: “they have their reward”; it would have been a very bad deal. “The world admires only spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent” (St. J. Escriva, “The Way”, 185).
Source: “The Navarre Bible: Text and Commentaries”. Biblical text from the Revised Standard Version and New Vulgate.
Commentaries by members of the Faculty of Theology, University of Navarre, Spain.
Published by Four Courts Press, Kill Lane, Blackrock, Co. Dublin, Ireland, and by Scepter Publishers in the United States. * gso/eao
(Jesus said to His disciples,) [1] “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in Heaven.
[2] “Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [3] But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, [4] so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
[5] “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [6] But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
[16] “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [17] But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, [18] that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
*** Commentary ***
1-18. “Piety”, here, means good works (cf. note on Matthew 5:6). Our Lord is indicating the kind of spirit in which we should do acts of personal piety. Almsgiving, fasting and prayer were the basic forms taken by personal piety among the chosen people --- which is why Jesus refers to these three subjects. With complete authority He teaches that true piety must be practiced with an upright intention, in the presence of God and without any ostentation. Piety practiced in this way implies exercising our faith in God who sees us --- and also in the safe knowledge that He will reward those who are sincerely devout.
5-6. Following the teaching of Jesus, the Church has always taught us to pray even when we were infants. By saying “you” (singular) our Lord is stating quite unequivocally the need for personal prayer --- relating as child to Father, alone with God.
Public prayer, for which Christ’s faithful assemble together, is something necessary and holy; but it should never displace obedience to this clear commandment of our Lord: “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father”.
The Second Vatican Council reminds us of the teaching and practice of the Church in its liturgy, which is “the summit toward which the activity of the Church is directed; it is also the fount from which all her power flows [...]. The spiritual life, however, is not limited solely to participation in the liturgy. The Christian is indeed called to pray with others, but he must also enter into his bedroom to pray to his Father in secret; furthermore, according to the teaching of the Apostle, he must pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)” (“Sacrosanctum Concilium”, 10 and 12).
A soul who really puts his Christian faith into practice realizes that he needs frequently to get away and pray alone to his Father, God. Jesus, who gives us this teaching about prayer, practiced it during His own life on earth: the holy Gospel reports that He often went apart to pray on His own: “At times He spent the whole night in an intimate conversation with His Father. The Apostles were filled with love when they saw Christ pray” (St. J. Escriva, “Christ Is Passing By”, 119; cf. Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; etc.). The Apostles followed the Master’s example, and so we see Peter going up to the rooftop of the house to pray in private, and receiving a revelation (cf. Acts 10:9-16). “Our life of prayer should also be based on some moments that are dedicated exclusively to our conversation with God, moments of silent dialogue” (“ibid”, 119).
16-18. Starting from the traditional practice of fasting, our Lord tells us the spirit in which we should exercise mortification of our senses: we should do so without ostentation, avoiding raise, discreetly; that way Jesus’ words will not apply to us: “they have their reward”; it would have been a very bad deal. “The world admires only spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent” (St. J. Escriva, “The Way”, 185).
Source: “The Navarre Bible: Text and Commentaries”. Biblical text from the Revised Standard Version and New Vulgate.
Commentaries by members of the Faculty of Theology, University of Navarre, Spain.
Published by Four Courts Press, Kill Lane, Blackrock, Co. Dublin, Ireland, and by Scepter Publishers in the United States. * gso/eao
Felt really bad..
Tonight's household I think was the worst. I don't know but for me it really is. I never felt really that bad about myself until lastt night. Almost all were there. Doyle and KC, Nelman and KR, JJ and Aisha, Pedro and Nian, Ags, Pipz and me. The Household was suppose to start at 7pm, I arrived at 7pm, but only aisha was there. We waited for the others and guess what, we started at 10pm. As we moved to the sharing part, All were exhausted and when it was my turn, I felt really bad because they weren't listening. I saw them talking and chatting to each other as if I wasn't talking. I felt really bad. Why do people don't pay attention to me. Am I talking of nonsense things?
I know they are tired, all of us were,but I listened to their sharing. How come they do things like that to me everytime it's my turn to talk.
How I wish, my voice would be so powerful and attractive.
Many say that my voice is so loud, but why is it that when I talk of things that are relevant, it seems that they don't hear it.
"Listen to me for some time. Please.."
I know they are tired, all of us were,but I listened to their sharing. How come they do things like that to me everytime it's my turn to talk.
How I wish, my voice would be so powerful and attractive.
Many say that my voice is so loud, but why is it that when I talk of things that are relevant, it seems that they don't hear it.
"Listen to me for some time. Please.."
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