Day 8 of Journalling

Today, I noticed that it is Monday and I purposely did not get up at 5 am, when I set my alarm last night. I purposely forget about my why. Why do I need to get up at 5 am? Is it because I am copying Amy Landino? It is because I wanted to seem that I have my life together?

I do. I want to seem that I have my life together that is why I copy Amy Landino because she is such a major inspiration for me right now. That is why I try to wake up at 5 am.

But what is really my why? Why do I wake up at 5 am? Why do I have to wake up at 5 am?

I think this is not about waking up early. This is about making my time useful. My body clock wakes me at 6am if I slept at 10pm or if I sleep at 12am, my body wakes me at 8 am. But right now, I wake Alex up so I get up at 6am.

Maybe, I need to get up too when she gets up and takes a bath. Since I cannot seem to manage to do anything now, other than scroll through social media if I have not taken a bath.

I have been meaning to launch my website soon but I have not been able to because I do not have enough content yet. I have also been meaning to write a novel or a book. I think when I heard Gretchen Rubin, she inspired automatically. Actually, it was Mel Robbins that got me to write again but it was Gretchen Rubin that affirmed it. I wanted to go into self-help but not a lot of Filipino Youtubers are into self-help or most Youtubers that I follow about self-help are foreign?

I've encountered this job at onlinejobs.oh. It is a good thing they are prepared to pay for the trial period. I have been looking for a paying writing job ever since I have decided to do writing as a full-time job while I think pursuing my passion for writing. I still need to learn so much about content creation, writing, and SEO. Soon, I will be able to launch my website and my podcast.

Day 7 of Journalling

Today, I noticed more of the things that annoy me. I hate meeting people accidentally especially those that know me from my childhood. Earlier this day, I have gone to mass and as I was heading there, I was stopped by someone who is friends with my mother. I hate that she asked me if I am a lawyer and if I was the one who took up law. She also asked what my sister finished in college. In the church, I met some schoolmate's mother. I think she doesn't want to talk to me either so I am grateful for that. It just annoys me to have to be reminded of my pasts when I have not started with my future. I hated having to explain why I went to law school, why I am not yet a lawyer, and why I do not want to be one anymore. It is just that I hate small talks. Like earlier at mass, I was thinking if my schoolmate's mother will hold my hand during the Ama Namin. My anxiety is high whenever I accidentally see people, like, I am not prepared for this. I always feel drained all the time whenever I see people I do not feel like seeing, especially, spending time with people that I do not want to spend time with.