You'll always be..

These past days,my post were about my love. How much I love him and why I love him. I've been always thinking of the things that I'm saying. Maybe I have done too much. I have exaggerated the description but it's the same thing.

These past days, I've been thinking about myself. If I am still happy. If I can still endure the pain. And I found out that,I can no longer go any farther. I can no longer pursue this feeling, this passion, this hope for I am too weak. I am tired.

Over the duration of the camp, I realized that I needed time for myself. I needed time to think about myself, to love myself and to be one with my own mind again.

I think I'm overdoing the love show that I forgot to love whom I should first love.

I decided not to look at him 'cause he's so dazzling and I'm afraid he'll blind me. I decided not to talk to him, good thing he, also refuses to talk to me. I will delete his phone number. I know he exist, but I'll pretend he doesn't for my heart.

In 3 months, he'll be out of the school. Out of my life and I hope, out of my heart as well. This has been the most tiring and painful three years yet greatest years in my life.

I already gave him the gifts I wanted him to receive. The butterfly has also died. And I think, this is the time for my heart to retire.

I still know that I will always love him.