These past days,my post were about my love. How much I love him and why I love him. I've been always thinking of the things that I'm saying. Maybe I have done too much. I have exaggerated the description but it's the same thing.
These past days, I've been thinking about myself. If I am still happy. If I can still endure the pain. And I found out that,I can no longer go any farther. I can no longer pursue this feeling, this passion, this hope for I am too weak. I am tired.
Over the duration of the camp, I realized that I needed time for myself. I needed time to think about myself, to love myself and to be one with my own mind again.
I think I'm overdoing the love show that I forgot to love whom I should first love.
I decided not to look at him 'cause he's so dazzling and I'm afraid he'll blind me. I decided not to talk to him, good thing he, also refuses to talk to me. I will delete his phone number. I know he exist, but I'll pretend he doesn't for my heart.
In 3 months, he'll be out of the school. Out of my life and I hope, out of my heart as well. This has been the most tiring and painful three years yet greatest years in my life.
I already gave him the gifts I wanted him to receive. The butterfly has also died. And I think, this is the time for my heart to retire.
I still know that I will always love him.
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2 comments:
move on.. kaya lang mahirap yan, kasi ganyan din yung sa akin, ano na nagnyari sa akin? ayun, lagi ko lang sinasabi na nakamove on na ako pero sa totoo lang hini pa.. parang natatabunan lang ng mga ginagawa ko arw-araw yung sakit pero andun pa rin siya kahit mahigit isang taon na.. tsk tsk..
http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com
fjordz, tama ka din, hnd din nman ganun kadali eh.. it takes time, pero syempre this is just the first step.. at tska ipinagdadasal ko pa din ang moving on na ginagawa ko.. hindi lang basta moving on, moving forward and taking a big leap..
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