That stubborn 25 lbs. though! Ugh!

I have been trying to lose weight to prepare for my oath taking and lawyering career and also to get better and healthy. I wanted to start running. At my current weight of 160.3lbs, I think I have lost 30+ pounds. And that's something to be happy about. My goal weight is 135 lbs. but my mom said 120 lbs. should be my suitable weight as I am only 5'2". I lost 30 lbs. in less than a month. That is surprising since I have been trying to lose weight so many times and I will fail. But I think it is different now since I have been drinking green tea and apple cider vinegar on top of a healthy diet. I don't do much of exercising, but I have committed to walking (adding a kilometer everyday) and to doing 100 squats everyday. I can't see changes yet but people around me are saying a lost a lot off weight. I vowed to go to the gym once I hit 130 lbs. and lose that remaining 100 lbs. at the gym and look more stronger.

I've been watching mostly Youtube videos from positive people like Shameless Maya. Bright side, TED Talk, Absolute Motivation, Wil Dasovich and whatever positive stuff I stumble on.

I can't do anything yet since I am still on rehab. I haven't been physically active since forever and I live a very sedentary lifestyle. I recently had chiropractic procedure done on me and I still have to practice walking properly and gaining balance on my body and leg strength.

Ian and I sort of broke up again before the our 23rd monthsary and I don't know if she's coming back but I have said my piece. It's up to her now to make a move. Lately, I'e been exploring with my sexuality. It looks like I am not a lesbian and not bisexual. I just am. I am not attracted to any particular gender or both but I love who I love. I just am. Recently, Amber of Amber's Closeet brightens my day and also Lexine. These are lesbians but they kind of remind me of the potential that Ian can be if she happens to be more vocal and open about certain things, but only to me. I don't want her putting those stuff in the internet.

I also think that the things I see in Amber and Lexine are probably the qualities I am really looking for in a partner. I don't know. But this year, I just want to really focus on myself and getting better.