I was already there when you fell. But I wasn't ready for your fall.

Dear Ian,

I'm sorry for everything but most especially, for wasting your time. I was happy, more than happy, ecstatic even when you told me you love me. I was even more ecstatic and thrilled after we made love. Everyday I spent with you and for you are the happiest I have gotten in my entire life.

But as I have told you, this is all too consuming for me. I am happy, but, with that, comes the crazy side of me. I couldn't handle it. I can't afford to be crazy now. You now how stressful the bar review can get. And you know how crazy I can get (it's just the beginning).

I feel like I'm burdening you always and I feel a little less loved by you every time I get crazy. So before I review, before I get even crazier, while I still feel that you still love and trust me, even a bit, I am ending this, whatever this is.
.
I can't ask for you to wait for me. That won't be fair. You should be happy. When all of this is over, I hope we can still find each other and pick up where we left off. Thank you, I love you and I'm sorry.