Today's second reading reminded me of my growing hatred towards my family. Last sunday, I went downstairs to ask my parents if I can already pay the tuition fee. My question was simple and can be answered by yes or no. I hate talking to my parents because I don't get the answers that I want or need. And I mostly hate it when my younger sister butts in and make the situation much worse. So, last Sunday, when I popped the question, I got the answer that I am fearing the most. Papa started ranting about my going to the mall the last Thursday and because I spent 500 pesos, I won't be able to pay my tuition yet. He furher ranted about how low his salary is and that his salary alone is not enough to suffice our needs and wants. What an absurdity! Papa has a high salary grade that I believe comes with the years of serving in the Government. Does he think he is talking to a naive 5 year old daughter? I am a 3rd year law student. I have already finished a four-year course. So please, give some credit to me. I know what you are talking about. I want you to tell me the truth, not the crap that you want me to believe. His salary alone goes to his medicines and maintenance.Okay, I get that. But please, stop blaming my schooling for all the set backs that we are experiencing now. It is not me whoabused your body that's why you end up sick like this. And then there's Mama. Okay, she tells the truth, but she exagerrates it. She is always saying that she's tired of looking out for the store but she needs to do it because I am still studying. And then there's my younger sister. She always thinks that the things that I ask from our parents are only wants and not needs. WTH! I don't get I want, and even most of my needs but do I complain about it to them?
You see, there is a growing hatred inside me for my family and I hate it. I love my family and I don't want to hate them.
Lord, I lift up my heart to You. I don't want to hate my parents. Please, make me understand our situation so that I won't hate them anymore. Please, help us get through this. I know that after this, we will come out strong and bonded because of Your love.
Amen.
