30 Days of Me - Day 16

Another picture of you

This was taken during my sister's wedding. I was the Maid of Honor.

30 Days of Me - Day 15

Put your Ipod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

I don't have an ipod so I used the Your Daily Mix in my Spotify.

1. Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift
2.Say My Name by Destiny's Child
3. Miss Independent by Ne-yo
4. Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch
5. Where do broken hearts go? - Whitney Houston
6. Sweet Escape - No Doubt
7. Stickwitu - Pussycat Dolls
8. Come Clean by Hillary Duff
9. Mirrors by Justin Timberlake
10. Lush Life by Zara Larsson

30 Days of Me - Day 14

A Picture of you and your family

New Year 2017

This was our last new year together as a family. My sister got married last December 20, 2017 and we have a new family member, her husband. May be next year, I'll have a niece or nephew.

30 Days of Me - Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Since Ian is making so much impact in my life right now, this is for her.

Dear Ian,

It always pains me when you accuse me of hings I never did and no capable of doing even when you only do it playfully. How many times do I have to tell you that? I never liked Yel  or Karlo. I have eyes only for you. My love is only for you. I am Loyal and Committed to you and I am always yours, no matter what happens. I can't explain it enough for you to understand and believe that when I say  I love you, I am willing to die for you.

I love you so much that it hurts everyday that we are not together and when we part ways, it's almost as if I am dying. I don't want to lose you and I am and will be ready for anything that may happen in the future.

Do not ever give up on me. We're going to get through this. I know we are stronger now.

I love you so much Ian Ursua Largo.

30 Days of Me - Day 12

How you found out about a blogger and why you made one

I forgot how I found out about blogger. I have had this since high school. I've been blogging since then.

I made one because I have this penchant for writing. When I was younger, I loved writing anything in my notebook or journal. But when I got to Law School and had that bad experience of writing 100+ digested cases, I grew tired of writing. I hate writing with a pen so blogging in the internet was perfect for me. My penmanship is not that bad. It is legible but I hate scribbling and doodling.

Now that  I graduated from Law School and the Bar Exams are over, I would like to get on with it again and keep this blog updated since I also deactivated my Facebook and I  don't want to rant on Twitter. Actually, I don't want to rant in here also but this would contain things that are personal.

30 Days of Me - Day 11

Another picture of you and your friends

Lawyer friends

Law School Friends

Law School Friends

SFC Friends

I have so many friends and acquaintances. I have been in the Couples for Christ community for 13 years. Some are really my friends, some know me by face, name and what I did in the community and were together with me in the services. Then I entered Law School and my circle expanded more. But the more I age, the more I crave for solace. I included only the closest people here in this post. Some friends, I don't have picture with them.

30 Days of Me - Day 10

Songs you listen to when you're happy, sad, hyped and mad

These days, my mood has a lot to do with Ian.

When I am happy or hyped because everything about our relationship is going strong and great, I listen to Parokya ni Edgar ft. Gracenote's song

Bakit Ganyan Ka?

Bakit ganyan ka?
Pinapakilig mo na naman ako
Di mo ba nahahalata ang mga
Ngiting di ko maitago
Kulang na lang ay matunaw kang
Parang isang yelo
Di ka mawalay sa aking
Mga titig na nakakapaso

Bakit ganyan ka?
Di nakakasawang
Kasama maghapon
Kung ano ano na ang napag-uusapan
Pero di napapagod
Sarap ng kwentuhan, nagkaintindihan
Sagot sa mga tanong
Akala ko pa ay imposibleng
Ikaw ay totoo

Ano ba ang meron sayo
Meron sayo, meron sayo
Ano ba ang meron sayo
Meron sayo

Kahit ang langit ay nakiki-awit
Sa ating sariling himig
Kulang ang bakit sa dami ng aking
Tanong laging iniisip
Kung bakit ka ganyan
Kung bakit ka ganyan

Bakit ganyan ka?
Di ko na yata kakayanin ang agos
Kasama sa hirap at ginhawa
Mga salitang tapos
Masama bang magtanong sa
Maykapal kung bakit tayo nagtagpo
Ano ba ang meron sayo
Meron sayo

Kahit ang langit ay nakiki-awit
Sa ating sariling himig
Kulang ang bakit sa dami ng aking
Tanong laging iniisip
Kung bakit ka ganyan
Kung bakit ka ganyan

Bakit ganyan ka?
(Bakit ka ganyan?)

Kahit ang langit ay nakiki-awit
Sa ating sariling himig
Kulang ang bakit sa dami ng aking
Tanong laging iniisip

I am a naturally emotional and dramatic person so the songs that I listen to are often dramatic too. When I'm sad or mad with her, it really depends on the gravity of our fight. But mostly, I listen to I won't give up by Jason Mraz because eventhough we have the toughest times and horrible fight, I know we love each other very much and these years ( 2016 and 2017) are just horrible timing for us because we have the bar to hurdle. When we finally get that license, there's really no real hindrance.


"I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up.

Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

30 Days of Me - Day 9

Something you're proud of in the past days

I'm proud that everybody is saying I am more matured now and I look better since they last saw me.

Last year was hard for me. I had to grow and change fast that I wasn't able to keep up because I was not willing to grow. I won't accept that I needed to change then. My body could handle it so it reacted badly. I got sick. I got so many pimples. My hair was falling. The only good thing is I lost weight.

This year, I was able to reflect on what went wrong last year. I decided that I am willing to adopt and embrace the changes this time and to go into things with a clear mind. I'm happy and proud that I did that. I can honestly say, I have a good grip of reality now.

30 Days of Me - Day 8

Short term goals for this month and why

It's december and I just had taken my bar exam for the last time. I don't really have goals for this month. I just want to rest and be with my family this time because I have been gone for the last 6 months. Though I still mostly spend my time in my room, it's different when I go down stairs and they're just there. My sister just got married and I'm staying with my parents since I'm the only one left. Basically, I just want to do the things that I was not able to do during the past months.

30 Days of Me - Day 7



A picture of someone that has made a bigger impact on you

I guess she made all the impacts and changes in me these past 2 years. I have become mature because of her, and I had to do it fast.

🎶i don't want us to become another used to be.🎶

[Verse 1]
I brought you here so that i can express the things i've been thinkin bout give me your ear.
cuz i don't normally do this so bare with me through this. there are so many things that i
want to say. but let me start by saying this saying i thank you. darling just because..

[Chorus]
i used to love someone that i didn't like we used to want to break up every other night. i
used to think realationships were a lot of stress. i used to think that pain was a part of
happiness. now all that's changed since you've come my way, but i don't want us to become
another used to be. 

[Verse 2]
I hope what i'm saying don't discourage you in any kind of way cuz i do believe that you have
the potential to be everything i need. i hope that you can really understand that i would hate
to be with someone new, and tell them what i'm telling you. 

[Chorus]
i used to love someone that i didn't like. we used to want to break up every other night. i
used to think realationships were a lot of stress. i used to think that pain was a part of
happiness. now all that's changed since you've come my way, but i don't want us to become
another used to be. 

[Verse 3]

cuz it would only be another waste of time, another moment to be raised i would bout my
mind. another memory a part of history. I cant forget cuz it keeps haunting me. Now that your
here is evidently clear, but i don't ever have to have this worry again again. ooohhhooooooo.

[Chorus x3]
i used to love someone that i didn't like. we used to want to break up every other night. i
used to think realationships were a lot of stress.i used to think pain was a part of
happiness. now all that's changed since you've come my way, but i don't want us to become
another used to be

30 Days of Me - Day 6

Favorite Superhero and why

I like Catwoman but she's not a super hero. I feel like wala naman talaga akong favorite superhero. I am into sci-fi in general but I didn't really warm up to any character. But I am more into kdramas, series, teeny bopper movies and that romantic stuff because I am in love with love and I think I am in love with the idea of love. 😂✌

30 Days of Me - Day 5

San Agustin Church

I have this goal that I want to visit all the churches in the Philippines. I am not fond of going to side trips and leisure time but when I go to a place, I want to visit their church too.

When I was visiting churches during bar review, I fell in love with San Agustin Church's interior. It still has that spanish feel. I can't forget that a rat crossed the altar in the middle of the mass and the people seemed unfazed.

It was also in this church that I had thought of my wedding. Of course it's impossible because I am in a same-sex relationship. I love Ian so much and I refuse to believe that I can love another more than her.

30 days of me - Day 4

A habit you wish you didn't have

Hm. This is a tough one. I have a hard time defining my bad habits these days. But I think it's my being too emotional. I get upset easily. I absorb negative energy from others. Sometimes, I don't know if what I'm feeling are my real emotions or something I picked up from someone. The emotions get too intense when I have my period. I wish I don't have it since I have a habit of making decisions through my emotions because of it. I say things I don't really mean.

I think I am improving though. The key to changing a bad habit is to be aware of it and knowing how you can change it. I think I am more rational now. I think thoroughly before I act. Except when I have my period, my emotions tend to get the best of me. 😂✌

30 Days of me - Day 3

We don't really have a cat. Stray lang yan tapos inampon na ni Mama. I want to have my own one day, when I have my own apartment or house.

30 days of me - Day 2

The Meaning Behind your Blogname

Purple Hearts are Love

I've liked the color purple since time immemorial. Violet, actually. I don't know why. But I'm always drawn to the color. It's got that elegant and regal vibe. Plus, I think it's the color of my aura. 😉

Heart, I love hearts. I think it's because I am in love with life and am always in love. And it's the symbol of love! 💜

30 days of me - Day 1

Found this on Pinterest and thought of giving it a try. I don't want to post it on Social Media though. 😉

15 interesting facts about me. (If these were even interesting. 😂😂😂)

1. I have a Law Degree.
2. I am a middle child.
3. I forgive easily. (As in kausapin mo lang ako, parang walang nangyari.)
4. Medyo gullible ako. 😂✌
5. I love sweets! (Who doesn't? WHY?!)
6. I actually wanted to be a newscaster before I wanted to be a lawyer.
7. I love reading and writing. (Then came Law School. Haha)
8. I am always inlove. (Not always with a person, though.)
9. I took up English Journalism, Public Speaking and Debate classes in high school.
10. I had 3 past relationships.
11. I love anything related to wedding.
12. I still yearn for doing creative stuff.
13. I still want to be a technical director.
14. I want to have my own coffee shop someday.
15. I love cats.

Like you.

I’m sorry I ran away.
I’m sorry I didn’t wait,
like I normally do.
I just know better now.
I’ve learned that waiting for boys like you
means that I’ll be left alone
while you go on with your own life
because you won’t come back.

I know that if you don’t try now,
you won’t try again later.
You’ll just disappear.
I’ll only be another memory — another girl.

You may wonder about me,
you may occasionally miss me,
you may ask about me
but you will never love me.

Because boys like you don’t really love,
boys like you only know how to take.
They can’t just give their all,
they can only give bits and pieces.

But sometimes they give their all
to someone else
who can’t give them their all
because they only like what they can’t have.

But it’s too soon, you say —
things might change.
Be patient.
Give it time.

But I’ve loved boys like you before
and they only left me broken
no matter how long I waited
and they never said sorry.

And I’ve loved boys like you before,
who carry treasures within their heart,
but they won’t let me dig deeper to find it
because that’s their private territory.

So I learned to run from boys like you
even though I want to stay
but boys like you don’t want girls like me
and I know this now.

Boys like you want girls like you.
Boys like you ignore girls like me
because they think we’ll always wait.
But girls like me also get tired — and they leave.

Thank you.

@Regrann from @poemsporn_  -  To the people who have been there for me when I was falling in love and canceled many plans for a boy, thank you for sticking around even when I didn’t deserve it.

To the people who have been there for me after getting my heart broken, thank you for giving me support when I was too weak to stand up on my own. Thank you for listening to me rant and weep for months about the same boy and the same story. Thank you for not giving up on me. And thank you for telling me that this boy wasn’t going to be my only love story.
To the people who have been there for me when I picked the wrong college guys to fall in love with, thank you for telling me they weren’t worth it. Thank you for making me still make those mistakes and not judging me for it.

Thank you for not leaving.

To the people who have been there for me when anxiety overtook my brain and I felt myself falling into a rabbit hole. Thank you for showing me compassion, and believing me when I said I was suffering. Thank you for telling me I was going to get through it and meaning it wholeheartedly.

To the people who have seen me try to forget my worries with too much wine or too many kisses that didn’t mean a thing, thank you for telling me to stop.

To the people who have been there for me through every single up and down, thank you for loving me at my worst. Thank you for loving me even when I was a terrible person and when I let you down.

Thank you for loving me even when you didn’t want to and even when I didn’t deserve it.
Thank you for not letting me go through this journey alone. And thank you for being a part of my downfalls and uphill mountain climbs. Thank you for your love when I didn’t feel lovable. Thank you for being my best friends, my cheerleaders and my soulmates. And thank you for being my forever love story that I never had with anyone else.
—@laurenjg5 via @thoughtcatalog
📷: @aaronwalls  

Don't tell me you love me, yet..

@Regrann from @_thekatrina_  -  @Regrann from @poemsporn_ - "Do not tell me you love me yet. It takes a whole year for the Earth to acknowledge, experience, feel and embrace every inch of the Sun. And the Earth truly loves the Sun, because no matter what, it always stays orbiting it, and after a year passes it begins again. And in return the Sun will always give it life.
So acknowledge me when I'm utterly spring, full of life and beauty. Whenever I blossom with all my passions, and stupid silly acts, when I laugh 'till I cry hearing those bad jokes nobody ever laughs at. Or when I am so into something I can't stop talking about it for days and days.
Experience me when I'm feeling all about summer, when one day I want to embark in  some exciting and dangerous adventure and the next day I rather stay home and devour a great book. When I'm all about calmness or craziness at the same time.
Please feel me whenever I'm autumn. Whenever I wake up screaming for a nightmare, whenever I feel so nostalgic I don't want to get up. Feel me when my sanity falls like leaves from a tree, and show me how beautiful they all look on the ground, because fall has always been my favorite season.
But most of all embrace me in my winters. When I'm so sad I become coldhearted. When I hurt someone without intention, and I am full of regrets, or those weeks where all I want to do is to hibernate and not see a single soul. Find joy in my hardest and darkest season, just like Christmas does for the Earth. Make sure I know my winters are what make me human.
So do not tell me you love me, not ever. Instead, acknowledge, experience, feel and embrace me throughout my seasons. And if at the end you decide to stay and begin a new year, then I will know. And as the Sun, I promise to love, believe and care for you so strongly that my rays will ignite every cell of your body, and fill them with life. "
—@pablocq96
📷: @yourfriendandre & @kellansworld  

Wounds..

@Regrann from @poemsporn_  -  If you still love me, never let me know. I can’t know, because if I did, then I’d never stop thinking about you — and it’s already hard enough to get over you. It’s hard to keep your name in my throat when all I want to do is talk about you. It’s hard to wake up in the morning and remind myself that you aren’t there anymore, that we’re not meant to be together.

You and I didn’t work out. It’s over. So don’t try to pull me back and break my heart a second time. I can’t get over you again. It was exhausting the first time. I’m still tired. I’m still healing.

If you care about me at all, don’t text me when you’re lonely, because it's more than just a text. Don’t tell me that I look beautiful when we run into each other, because it's more than just a compliment. Don’t comment on my social media posts, because it's more than just a fleeting comment. It all means so much more, it all holds hope, and that hope is heavy. That hope is hurtful.

Don’t you dare tell me that you still love me, unless you mean that you love me enough to fix the problems we had in the past. Unless it means that you want to give our relationship another try. Unless it means that you’re going to put all of your effort into making us happy this time.

See, if your “I love you” just means that you miss me, or that you want to jump back into the same unhealthy relationship we once had, with no growth and no learning, then I don’t want to hear it. It won’t do anything. It’ll just sting. It will just reopen the wounds I’ve been trying to so hard to heal.

So don’t tell me you love me. Don’t tell me you care. Don’t tell me that hurting me was the biggest mistake you ever made. Let me think that you don’t want anything to do with me. That there’s no chance in hell that you’d take me back. Because it’s easier that way.

It’s easier to move on by telling myself it’s officially over – that you’re never going to step foot into my life again. It’s easier when I’m afraid to text you, because I think you won’t want to hear from me. It’s easier to lie to myself than to face the truth.

So, if you really love me, you’ll stay away. You’ll stay gone.
—@hollyyrio via @thoughtcatalog
pc: @jacknewport  

Forgiveness..

@Regrann from @poemsporn_  -  Forgiveness is powerful.
But sometimes in love and relationships, we forgive the wrong people. Sometimes we’re tied closely to people who hurt us, and we think that we must forgive them to move forward, to save a relationship, to fix what has been torn apart, to give ourselves closure.
Listen — forgiving someone doesn’t mean you allow them a free passage back into your heart. It doesn’t mean that you open the doors to your life and give them the key.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life.
Yes, you can forgive someone for cheating. You can forgive someone for breaking your heart. You can forgive someone for abandoning you in a time of need, for walking away, for not putting you first, for letting you go.
But that doesn’t mean you need to trust that person again.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who has destroyed the foundation of everything you’ve built. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you keep a close friendship with the person who betrayed you.
Forgiveness means you accept what wrongs have been done to you, you let them go, and you begin again — with or without that person. You get to decide. Repeat that again — you get to decide, and you are not any less of a person for knowing when you need distance from people who have broken you. You are not spiteful, hateful, bad, or evil for taking time to heal. You are not wrong for forgiving and leaving that person in your past.
So please do not think forgiveness means you must stay.
Please, remember your worth, and know that you deserve a love that doesn’t leave. Know that forgiving someone does not make you weak, but gives you strength. Strength enough to let go, to move on, and to grow.
—@_marisadonnelly via @thoughtcatalog
pc: @anthonyd.elia  

"It' s still you. I just have to get this bar done."

"It' s still you. I just have to get this bar done."

9 months to bar. 259 days to bar. Gusto mo bang hintayin kita? Mahihintay ba kita? Sana. Wala naman ako ibang gustong gawin kundi maging malaya at masaya sa piling ng taong mahal ko. Di ko alam na matagal na pala akong malungkot hanggang sa dumating ka sa buhay ko. At ngayon na hindi kita makasama, kahit makausap man lang, ang hirap, sobrang hirap. Pero ano ba naman to kumpara sa pinagdadaanan mo ngayon db? Ano ba naman to sa mga pagsubok na haharapin ko pa as I get on with life db? Law school at bar review nga natapos ko, ito pa kaya db?

Part of me wants to move on and get on with my life because the impatient and immature me wants to feel loved kahit saglit lang. But I want to see it till the end at malaman kung magiging masaya na ba tayo after your bar.

I miss you so much. I love you. Please make me feel your love kahit saglit lang. 😔