Gold's not old

Gold, in my own perspective, is the most precious element of all time. Therefore, once you sell gold or a gold coin, that would really be expensive. For women, when they are given a gold by a man, it's really a great thing and it would really make them flash a big smile on their face.

Do you have any idea where to buy gold or gold coins? In your place, you can visit the nearest pawnshop. But do you know where to buy gold and gold coins online? You can buy gold coins online at goldcoinsagain.com. You can even sell a gold bullion. If you're a gold coins collector, this is the right and best website for you. You can buy affordable gold coins that you've been waiting for a long time.

It's better to buy gold coins online because you can just stay relaxed while shopping for it. You can also avoid the crowd that's waiting for you at the mall which can lead to a stressful day. So what are you waiting for? Visit this website and know what's in store for you.

Decision Making

Making a decision isn't easy, especially when you are dealing about things that are both good for your future.

As of the moment, I am dealing with my decision on staying in Central B as a sector YCOM head. I am thinking that I can no longer stay because in my heart I am not passionate anymore. Also because I feel that I am doing things just for the hang of it. I am doing things as if it's a job and not a thing that I love doing. And most of all, I feel that I can no longer see the point of staying anymore.

On the contrary, I still feel that I have to stay because I have to finish my term this year. Also because, I feel that I still need to train Luis to stand up as the YCOM head. I also feel that I have to build relationship with my YCOM crew.

Honestly, I want to choose not to stay anymore because this will benefit a lot of people around me. And I find peace when I think about it. But still, questions are being raised, and reasons to stay are still showing.

I don't know. Maybe I still have to prayand think more about it..

Romantic Love can Wait..

Awhile ago, I was talking with a close college classmate through text. I asked him if I was able to say or talk about something about not wanting to have a love life or a relationship. And he said, I haven't mentioned anything to him about that in any of our conversations before..

Before that, I was racking my brain about it. Because I am wondering why Diane pointed me during the Metrocon Production Meeting last Thursday when we were talking about the sharer which would share about prioritizing academics over lovelife, not having a love life while studying that is.

As I remember, I am not against relationships, I also want to have a boyfriend, a husband and a family someday. But my parents say that I have to prioritize my studies first. It's not that I can't handle both. But there's a policy in our house so I have to abide it.

Talking about it, looking back, the many things I've done are because my parents say so or they would never allow me to do it, or I was thinking about their reputation. Filial, aren't I?

Another is because, I grew in a community that surrounds me with sibling love and also, my family gave me the love that I needed to suffice until I need to yearn for the other half of my life.

I don't know if I really have fallen in love before but I'm sure I've never been unloved before.

Romantic Love can wait..

Blessed Week..

While I was rummaging through my blog awhile ago when unexpectedly, I saw someone commented on my previous post. Not that I hated it, but it was just unexpected because no one knows that I have a blog, that I am aware of. It is well kept, as I would put it.. and the weird part is, I don't know who it was..

And so I clicked his name and was directed to her/his (confused with the gender) blog and read it. After reading it, somehow, I felt like he's/she's blogging about her/his daily life. Of course he would because it's his/her own blog but what I mean is that, he/she blogs because he/she wants to create a story of his/her life. *am I making any sense here?*

Okay, let's put it this way. I for one, blogs because I want to vent out my emotions in this blog. But the thing is, I blog when I have extreme emotions. I only blog when I feel like blogging. But this blogger that I encountered does it on a daily basis.

Maybe there are also bloggers who blogs about their daily lives. I commend them for that. I am a writer at heart. The problem is, I am lazy to do it.I feel like I lack the drive, the passion. and so reading this person's blog made me realize how much time I am wasting because of laziness..

Anyway, moving on.. I want to blog about my week. I feel that it has been a blessed week for me and my family. I'll start from Friday (September 25, 2009)

Friday. I was at home, and I have been using the computer since the moment I woke up until 5 am the next day.I was so into my computer that I didn't notice that the rain was pouring hard outside. Although I can hear the rain drops trickling on the roof and on the streets, still I didn't pay any attention to it. I've been asking my mama why papa is today. Normally, he'll be home by 9pm already because we watch the Prime Time shows as a way to kill time and that also sinals me to stand up and turn off the computer for awhile but that day, he's late. I think he arrived at 11 pm that night. Funny, because I wasn't aware that there's already a typhoon. I even forgot that I wanted to read the Daily Paper since last week and do that on a daily basis. At 5 am, I slept.

Saturday. I woke up to the noise my mama was making. And everybody in the house *i think* was restless. I got annoyed so I shouted at them. I fall asleep again but a moment later, I've been awaken by my mama shouting," gumising ka na, malulunod ka na jan!" And so I tried to get up and check what my mama was blabbering about only to feel a wet and cold feeling at my feet when I was looking for my slippers. So it was true, the water is already rising. For almost 10 years, our house, since it is reconstructed,haven't experienced a flood inside the house. Ours was higher than the streets even though we don't have a second floor so we were shocked that the water has flooded the inside of our house. Anyway, on the bright side, my 2-year old niece experienced walking on the flood. She thought we already have an indoor kiddie pool. Good thing the water isn't dirty *muddy in that sense* so we were able to play for a while. It was fun because we haven't done that in years.

Maybe I really woke up that early *I usually wake up at around 1-2pm*, so the rest of the day was boring. I wasn't able to text, because there's no signal for globe, no electricity so I can't watch tv or use the computer.. Being a family of silent people, it was hard for us to sit in one place and face each other. We usually do our own stuff so we won't be able to talk to each other often. I, for one, isn't a fan of noise or speaking much. I'd mostly appreciate it if you would stay silent beside me. This is the reason why I spend most of my time reading books, writing journals, texting friends or staying late at night in front of the computer.

Going back, I slept at the sofa that night. And damn it, because mosquitoes are zooming around me and biting me. I can't sleep well. Whenever I move, I'll get awaken because there's not enough space to move into *I might fall*.

Sunday. Since I slept at the sofa, my back was extremely aching *I have scoliosis,by the way*. I saw that everybody is up now so I went into my room *that was slept on by my sister and sister-in-law last night* to continue my sleep. I noticed that the flood outside has already subsided leaving slippery mud all over the streets. Papa wasn't allowing anyone of us to go out because he said, the parts of our street was still flooded and there are parts of the city that are still extremely flooded. I wasn't planning on going out so I just slept, maybe till 4pm?

The electricity came back around 5-6pm that day and I was able to go back to the silent me. but then again, classes were suspended the whole week so it's going to be a whole week for me and my family to face each other.

Monday-Wednesday.My day was routinized. I'll wake up at 1pm (latest), then eat, then watch tv, then use the laptop till morning and sleep again. And in between those things, I'll be pigging out the whole day. I won't have to worry about the house chores because fortunately, my sister-in-law hired a helper for the house. It's just embarrassing because the helper is barely 16 years old. Her name is Ana Mae and she's from Baras, Rizal. She's my sister-in-law's 3rd cousin saying that her Lola and my sister-in-law's Lolo were siblings. Again, I can't do anything but to help her with little things and talk to her once in a while. Making friends, I say. She's young yet she's working already for her family. Making friends with her and making her feel like a part of the family since she's a way from her family, that's the least thing I can do.

Thursday.A Metrocon production meeting is scheduled today so I headed at the center an hour after I woke up. I arrived at 2:15 pm and the first person I saw was Djo Ongtangco and seeing her, I felt relieved because I was worried with my friends living at the east area. The news says that the east part was very much affected by the typhoon Ondoy. I saw other yfc friends there and I thanked God that they are safe as well. The meeting was help at the Greenwich at Robinsons Galleria. It was fun. This is the first time that I have a meeting with them after the YCOM Training last summer. I didn't manage to attend the meetings for the preparation of the YCOM ACADEMY and the academy itself because I was very much busy with my classes and projects. And having a night-shift, for days a week class won't permit me to join them. The schedule was a conflict. I am happy that I get to see most of them now. especially the people that I love to work with. I am appointed as Visual Director and I am totally dumbfounded now because even though I know what are the things to do, I can't do it or I don't know how to do it. I am worried that I won't be able to do it well. and this is the freaking Metrocon! This is the 2nd largest event in the community here in the Philippines, next to ILC of course. If I manage to pull this up, I'll make it as the VD again this ILC. Another is that, Glen Lopez is the technical director and for God sake, Glen Lopez is YCOM! *and an old crush,that is*Maybe that is why ate Dana put me there. Anyway, I just hope that I'll manage to pull this off..

Anyway, the attendees were Djo Ongtangco, Glen Lopez, Lucky Dela Rosa, Dana Flores, Diane Famatigan, Jamo Tolentino, Benjo Magnaye *people that I love working with*. I've been working with them since ILC Tagaytay 2008 and there were also other people who are new to YCOM, Cy Dulaca, Luis Enriquez *partner*, Gerald Manapsal, Levin *west a, Jasmin Santos and her crew and also the other FTW that are working with us in the Programs Committee..

We were making fun of Cy Dulaca because he's been assigned for the Documentations. That was my all time designation and I told ate Dana Flores to spare me now of working at this designation so she put me on a more challenging work, VD. Anyway, Cy can't figure out what to do. I tried explaining but Djo and the others were blabbering other things and discouraging him with his assigned work. Well, goodluck to him. Any, I'll be helping him if he needs help.

After the meeting, we went back to the CFC center to accompany Diane Famatigan in getting her ID. She surrendered it earlier and forgot to get it back when we went to Galleria.I was with the east people *Djo, Luis, Diane and Cy, because I will be joining them in the bus going home later. Diane is heading to Paranaque because her family is staying there. Luis and I are central people but needs to pass the east are before we arrive at our own area.Cy, Djo, Diane, Luis and I went to 7/11 to buy drinks and food. It was a fun night *day* for all of us, if not, at least for me.

We rode a bus going to Cainta. Cy and Djo are getting off at Junction while Luis and I are getting off at Rosario.The Trip heading home was long so while sitting beside Djo, and Cy and Luis was on the seats beside us *were along the aisle*, we had our own conversations with our seatmates. Djo and I reminisced our first experiences in YCOM. While I overheard Luis and Cy, gossiping about each others' household mates.. haha.. Boys are really gossipers.. haha..

When I arrived home, Papa went home with a gallon of ice cream. We ate it like peanuts because in 30 minutes, the whole bucket was empty.

Friday. Nothing much has happened and this day was just like my monday to wednesday. Everything was routinized only that I don't get to use the damn computer because it broke down, I don't know why. My sister is using the laptop and won't lend it to me because she is freaking playing Plants vs Zombies. Duh?! It's not a valid reason. I don't get to use it until 11 pm. Everybody stops at 8pm because we'll be watching the Prime Time Bida. After Dahil May isang Ikaw, we'll scram off again to our businesses.. I was just happy that there are stocked food the whole week. I think I gained weight because I've been pigging out every night since the typhoon came.


I feel really blessed this week. I manage to spend each day with my family and friends. I'm blessed with the realization that I am more lucky than other people who became victims of this typhoon. I thank God that I still have a family to face everyday while others' family members are still missing and others are still out inn the flooded areas. I am very grateful for everything.

Regrets and Resentment..

Have you experienced the feeling of looking back all through those years that you've been through and then nonchalantly say, "I'm not satisfied at all.."

I can clearly remember that day, when I was about to enroll in the University that I strongly fought my parents to allow me to attend to.. It was, after all, one of the most prestigious universities in the country. Needless to say, with also the cheapest tuition fee in the world..

I was so determined to get into their Broadcast Communication program ever since I decided to enroll into it but damn FATE, yes, FATE, it has another plan for me. I won't go over the details as I remember I have blogged about it months ago.

I am very regretful that I wasn't so strong. I wasn't strong in the sense that I claim to be as one. I could have followed my heart and be happy with what I want and I could have been happier now. I'm feeling resentment whenever I ask what if I took the course, I could've been great, I could've made many friends, I could've been physically and emotionally well, I could've been happy and I wouldn't be worrying about my future now. I maybe taking the LAE now because I planned everything since day 1. I have figured out what I wanted to do in my life if only I get to do it as I planned. I maybe on my way to Law School by this June if I held on firm to my dreams..

I am regretful, resentment is taking over me, and I haven't stopped from asking the countless of what-ifs in my mind. I can't help it. Even though there are people telling me, "God has a greater plan", "It's not yet too late", and "You can still make the most of what you've got", I am not satisfied, I am not taking those words because in my heart, I already know what I want, I already know what would make me happy.

Eight years has passed since I started to lose my confidence.. Eight years since I started to drift away from people, Eight long years.. When I look back, I'm not happy with who I am today and that includes every bit of me.

I hate myself from asking these questions that would only deepen the hatred, sadness, frustrations and guilt in my heart but I just can't help it. This concerns my future and I'd be always living in a life full of regrets because once in my life, I let the opportunity of being happy pass.

I'm graduating this May 2010 and I pray that I would really be graduating. I want to be out of this course. I want to be out of this system that I know I didn't fit in since day one. I want to breakfree. I want to be strong again, and this time, for myself..

I would be going to Law School after I pass the LAE next September 2010 (that's the end goal of my plan before).. And maybe, just maybe, my happiness would start there..

Fail!

I'm running out of ideas. The fasibility study of strawberry farm in tagaytay shows that it is not feasible and I've verified it with the Bureau of Plant Industry. Everyone in the group is already backstabbing each other and I'm at lost as to who to believe, who to get angry with, who to talk back with, who to join, who to agree with. Everything's been confusing aand we only got 5 freaking days to finish everything. We're down to two choices and that is 1.) go with the feasibility study, take the risk and pray that we won't fail but I think, with the forgoing info that I've just found, we will, in no doubt fail or 2.)come up with a new business and cram.. ARGH! Talk about crunch time and I'm still blogging about it.. Pray for us please. I really wanted this to pass.

Law School it is..:)

I am happy, because the only profession that I wanted to become is now attainable for me..

When I was young, I always wanted to be a reporter and a lawyer, thus, I've planned my life to be patterned to that. In Grade School, I joined the School Paper Organization while in High School, I entered the Debate Club.

I was determined to be a corporate/legal lawyer someday so I planned to take Political Science if not Mass Communication as my Bachelor's Degree then I'll go straight to Law School.. That's why in all my entrance exams, I always put Political Science and Mass Communication (or related courses) as my choices.

But things didn't go smoothly as planned. While deciding on which University I would go, my parents were insisting that I go for Pamantasan ng Lugsod ng PAsig and take up Nursing..

At that time, I really wanted to go to University of Santo Tomas, if not, Polytechnic University of the Philippines because I wanted an independent environment suitable for my preparation to Law School.

But my parents said, "Okay, you can go to PUP, only that, you would take Accountacy as your course." WTH! I don't want to, but still, they won and after a year, I failed the course and shifted to Marketing.

All my hopes of becoming a reporter and a lawyer were gone because of the wrong choice of course. I was ready to do Events MArketing instead when I graduate because it's related to Mass Communication and in that way, I can compensate for the lost dream of being a reporter. But then, when my parents and I had a talk, I was surprised that Papa brought up the Law School topic. He asked me if how many units do I still have to take before graduation then he instructed me to finish Bachelor's Degree on time (since everyone is expecting me to graduate on May 2010) and then file for my admissions in Law School..

I was overwhelmed.. I thought he has forgotten about my dream. I haven't thought about it in years after I shifted. I haven't talked about it with my parents but it seems like they know me to well.

Weeks before this conversation, Papa was already calling me "Attorney" because of the show "Dahil May Isang Ikaw", and I always smile whenever he calls me "Attorney". Dating back from high school, I remembered a certain show which also have Lawyers as main characters,"Kaytagal Kang Hinintay". Papa was also calling me "Attorney Katrina" back then because the female protagonist played by Bea Alonzo was also named Katrina. So now, whenever papa calls me, he addressess me as "Attorney".

Talking about the Law School thing with my parents brought back so many things in me. It brought me back to what my real goal was. I brought back the sense of why I am studying, and why I need to study hard. This also brought my confidence and self-esteem back. This also enlightened me again to pray and ask for God's wisdom and will for this decision.

This decision will affect many things includong my service in YFC, my wanting to be a fulltime, career path and a lot more so I asked God to guide me through this decision and also allow me to finish the Bachelor's Degree on time so that I can graduate on May 2010 and Finally take the LAE by september on that year. Also that I would be preparedc to enter the Law School as I know I still have a lot to learn because I wasn't ableto take up a related course for it.

Law School, here I come!