Umayos ka.

Sabi ko na, sakin mo nanaman ibabaling ang sisi eh. Putangina, kung gusto mo na patulan yang office mate mo, go ahead. Handa ka naman na dati pa na mawala ako sa buhay mo db? Hindi lang ikaw ang pagod at stressed. Umayos ka.

Hot, intelligent bad ass and kick ass lawyer

Kinaya ko, in 7 months, ibalik yung katawan ko, 4 yrs ago. Mabagal kasi di ako makapagworkout. May 5 months pa bago matapos ang taon. I hope I can achieve my body goal for this year, tapos next year, achieve my ultimate goal, hot, intelligent bad ass and kick ass lawyer by june!

I miss you but you can't know

Dear you,

Alam mo ba, pag naiisip kita, dati, sobrang saya ko, pero lately, masaya pa rin naman ako pero naiiyak na 'ko. Nasisira focus ko. Pinipilit ko naman wag ka na maisip kaso ang hirap. Lalo na pag pagod na ko at may masakit sakin o malungkot na ko o stressed na ko tapos ikaw lang yung gusto ko makaalam pero ngayon ayoko na malaman mo kc ayoko dumagdag sa stress mo. Miss na kita. Sana andito ka sa tabi ko ngayon.

In his eyes..

She is, indeed, different from the rest.

He sees in her, the person, not just the name, not just the words, not just the hobbies and interests, but the thoughts and emotions.

He describes her as one of a kind.

She is not much into emotional stuffs, which he thinks, is not common in the femme world. She watches romantic movies, to accompany her single girlfriends, reads romantic pocketbooks, but he doubts if these satisfy her want or she reads it just to see if the books can trigger in her the same emotions shared by her girlfriends.

He knows that she loves reading so much, but from his observation, it seems that her main reason is to gather some thoughts,more perspectives, more ideas, it can always be proven by the way she engages herself in a conversation, not so emotional, but more logical.

She, oftenly seeks the reason and the logic for an action or decision, well, he thinks that she has that mastery of her emotions… but she always says, its not always that she wins over herself. There are also times of downfalls, but she tries her best to minimize it.

If at times, an action or decision seems more of emotional urge than the logical one, she never let her tongue do the judgement right away. She welcomes everything as she says that we have differences, and understanding should always bridge the gap.

She can stay and sit for number of hours in the park observing people. She can sit for a day interacting with nature by feeling the sunshine and staring with the goldness of the sky as the sun bids goodbye. She can lie down at the field staring at the moon and amazed by the beauty of the stars.

She is not much into expensive apparels, nor impressed with the financial stability of the guy. She does not weigh the value of the person on where he dates her, nor if he pays for everything. She is always willing to give her share, and never fails to see the principles ruling him. She is, indeed, independent.

A date with her can be considered more of talk of the minds, than talk of the hearts. She reveals her thoughts on different topics, even those we oftenly ignores as they appear something very usual to capture or bug our minds, but it does, at least with her.

She even breaks the silence during a coffee date by answering her ringing phone to attend to a friend who is in need of her opinion or advice. He is totally amazed. How come a very silent person can earn all the trust and confidence in this world, without trying so hard, without pleasing them… for simply being herself…

She even breaks in him big jokes. That make him laugh so hard, and even give him a sudden frown. For behind her joke is the sad message, a bite of reality that most of us totally ignore.

People may not understand her, for she doesnt explain her side. But for a reason he does not know, he understands her. There’s this something they name as “connection”, and that damn great feeling sweeps him everytime that his thought is in unity with her. The presence of that hope that they can be soulmates, or more.

She is different. For she doesnt speak much of her emotions regarding the mishaps, tragedies and disasters. She keeps her lips in silence and with her hands into action. Yes, she doesnt weep, but she will see to it, that her hands are extended and in reach of the victims. She is a woman of deeds and not of words…

She’s uncommon. Proving questions are thrown in him that, at times, he thinks that she is gauging his logical abilities. But not really. She just want to know his thoughts on issues. She wants to know more so she can understand. She is just checking on the other side of the coin. Several times that he failed to see where their conversations would lead, or if ever it will end, but he ends up unaware of the enjoyment it brings. That he already spent number of hours “making love” with her mind. He can stay up the whole night discussing things with her, an open communication on worthy topics.

She’s distinct. She may not be the typical sweet girl who whispers the sweetest phrases in this world. Whenever he asks her why seldom she speaks of sweet nothings, she would always answer that she is just concern and doesnt want him to be diabetic. Afterwards, she would laugh. Her laughters is the sweetest music he can ever heard. Her sweetness is enveloped. She always say that he needs to dig more, to think more, because its healthy for the memory. So he will avoid alzheimers that may eventually strike her off his mind. She is indeed sweet, in a very different way. She wont even tell him how thankful she is to have him around nor wont let him feel that he is her Adonis. But despite all of these, she can make things balanced. She understands the weeping and the jealousy of the flightless bird. That she can make him feel that they can both fly. That they can achieve something as individuals or ass partners. That he can always stand everytime he falls. She sees and accepts even his flaws, and makes way and encourages to bring out the best in him. She believes in him.

She can make him feel secured even if he’s not by her side, for she is not the type who can be easily swept by the sweet words. Who doesnt easily believe in words. She doesnt seek her happiness and worth into someone else’s life. She finds it within her. If she would love, you can not question her, for she can totally distinguish love from need. She knows that love is sharing and not a mantle to cover up the emptiness inside.

Maturity, sincerity and priorities are her checkpoints before she starts the fire. For she sees relationship as something that should be long term, and not a medication for the loneliness or emptiness.

She knows when to stop, when to let go and when to start, when to drop the cowardice and when to fight for love…

She is peculiar, sui generis.

This girl is not easy to find, and he believes that it would take him another lifetime to meet someone like her again. He needed to break the wall to have her.

But it’s all worth it… she’s that girl he will always be proud of, to be the definition of his life…

I was already there when you fell. But I wasn't ready for your fall.

Dear Ian,

I'm sorry for everything but most especially, for wasting your time. I was happy, more than happy, ecstatic even when you told me you love me. I was even more ecstatic and thrilled after we made love. Everyday I spent with you and for you are the happiest I have gotten in my entire life.

But as I have told you, this is all too consuming for me. I am happy, but, with that, comes the crazy side of me. I couldn't handle it. I can't afford to be crazy now. You now how stressful the bar review can get. And you know how crazy I can get (it's just the beginning).

I feel like I'm burdening you always and I feel a little less loved by you every time I get crazy. So before I review, before I get even crazier, while I still feel that you still love and trust me, even a bit, I am ending this, whatever this is.
.
I can't ask for you to wait for me. That won't be fair. You should be happy. When all of this is over, I hope we can still find each other and pick up where we left off. Thank you, I love you and I'm sorry.

Journey to permanent weight loss..

Motivation:
I want to lose weight because my graduation is coming up in 3 months and the pictorial is in 2 months. I also wanted to lose weight because I wanted to regain balance and control of my body so I can do more of the activities I want to do and can't do because of my balance problem. Also, because the bar exams are cooming up and I want to feel better and feel lighter while I study for the bar exam. Ultimately, I want to be a sexy, hot, intelligent, bad-ass and kick-ass lawyer in the future.

Give and Take list:
What will I gain from losing weight?

1. Balance and control of my body
2. Great mood and attitude
3. Better self confidence
4. More energy

What sacrifices are you willing to make?

1. Waking up early.
2. Giving up on eating junk food and colored drinks.
3. Drinking more water.
4. Working out daily.
5. Removing toxic people in my life.

to be

Prayers

Lord, please grant me the capacity to differentiate real love and infatuation. Di na po ako bata to still think of what could've beens and what ifs. Lord, grant me the will and courage to move on and move forward. I need this to live a new life. Now that I have decided to live and lead a new life, please, grant me the people that I will be needing. Hindi naman po ako himihingi ng wala sanang magbabago. Gusto ko lang po na sana, makayanan ko ang lahat ng hamon na dadating sa buhay ko. Sana po ang constant thing sa buhay ko ay yung pamilya ko.