Wounds..

@Regrann from @poemsporn_  -  If you still love me, never let me know. I can’t know, because if I did, then I’d never stop thinking about you — and it’s already hard enough to get over you. It’s hard to keep your name in my throat when all I want to do is talk about you. It’s hard to wake up in the morning and remind myself that you aren’t there anymore, that we’re not meant to be together.

You and I didn’t work out. It’s over. So don’t try to pull me back and break my heart a second time. I can’t get over you again. It was exhausting the first time. I’m still tired. I’m still healing.

If you care about me at all, don’t text me when you’re lonely, because it's more than just a text. Don’t tell me that I look beautiful when we run into each other, because it's more than just a compliment. Don’t comment on my social media posts, because it's more than just a fleeting comment. It all means so much more, it all holds hope, and that hope is heavy. That hope is hurtful.

Don’t you dare tell me that you still love me, unless you mean that you love me enough to fix the problems we had in the past. Unless it means that you want to give our relationship another try. Unless it means that you’re going to put all of your effort into making us happy this time.

See, if your “I love you” just means that you miss me, or that you want to jump back into the same unhealthy relationship we once had, with no growth and no learning, then I don’t want to hear it. It won’t do anything. It’ll just sting. It will just reopen the wounds I’ve been trying to so hard to heal.

So don’t tell me you love me. Don’t tell me you care. Don’t tell me that hurting me was the biggest mistake you ever made. Let me think that you don’t want anything to do with me. That there’s no chance in hell that you’d take me back. Because it’s easier that way.

It’s easier to move on by telling myself it’s officially over – that you’re never going to step foot into my life again. It’s easier when I’m afraid to text you, because I think you won’t want to hear from me. It’s easier to lie to myself than to face the truth.

So, if you really love me, you’ll stay away. You’ll stay gone.
—@hollyyrio via @thoughtcatalog
pc: @jacknewport  

Forgiveness..

@Regrann from @poemsporn_  -  Forgiveness is powerful.
But sometimes in love and relationships, we forgive the wrong people. Sometimes we’re tied closely to people who hurt us, and we think that we must forgive them to move forward, to save a relationship, to fix what has been torn apart, to give ourselves closure.
Listen — forgiving someone doesn’t mean you allow them a free passage back into your heart. It doesn’t mean that you open the doors to your life and give them the key.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life.
Yes, you can forgive someone for cheating. You can forgive someone for breaking your heart. You can forgive someone for abandoning you in a time of need, for walking away, for not putting you first, for letting you go.
But that doesn’t mean you need to trust that person again.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who has destroyed the foundation of everything you’ve built. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you keep a close friendship with the person who betrayed you.
Forgiveness means you accept what wrongs have been done to you, you let them go, and you begin again — with or without that person. You get to decide. Repeat that again — you get to decide, and you are not any less of a person for knowing when you need distance from people who have broken you. You are not spiteful, hateful, bad, or evil for taking time to heal. You are not wrong for forgiving and leaving that person in your past.
So please do not think forgiveness means you must stay.
Please, remember your worth, and know that you deserve a love that doesn’t leave. Know that forgiving someone does not make you weak, but gives you strength. Strength enough to let go, to move on, and to grow.
—@_marisadonnelly via @thoughtcatalog
pc: @anthonyd.elia  

"It' s still you. I just have to get this bar done."

"It' s still you. I just have to get this bar done."

9 months to bar. 259 days to bar. Gusto mo bang hintayin kita? Mahihintay ba kita? Sana. Wala naman ako ibang gustong gawin kundi maging malaya at masaya sa piling ng taong mahal ko. Di ko alam na matagal na pala akong malungkot hanggang sa dumating ka sa buhay ko. At ngayon na hindi kita makasama, kahit makausap man lang, ang hirap, sobrang hirap. Pero ano ba naman to kumpara sa pinagdadaanan mo ngayon db? Ano ba naman to sa mga pagsubok na haharapin ko pa as I get on with life db? Law school at bar review nga natapos ko, ito pa kaya db?

Part of me wants to move on and get on with my life because the impatient and immature me wants to feel loved kahit saglit lang. But I want to see it till the end at malaman kung magiging masaya na ba tayo after your bar.

I miss you so much. I love you. Please make me feel your love kahit saglit lang. 😔

Unilateral promise..

Hon, I don't want to lose hope that we'll end up together. Maybe not for now but eventually. I can't believe I can belong to another as bad as I wanted to belong to you. And I don't want you to be with someone else. There is no denying that I can't get the peace that I need without you in my life so I'm telling you this. Mag-aral ka lang on 2017. Let's become the person we deserve during the time that we are apart. I will come for you on 2018, on the day you pass the bar. On that day, I promise that I will be the better person you deserve. I hope you still want and love me now and at that time. This is a unilateral promise and I don't expect you to be bound by it. I love you. I'm always yours.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

"2017 is the year to care — to take your life into your own hands.

2017 is the year you get out of your own way. The year you start to realize the potential you have swirling within your bones. 2017 is the year you don’t ask for permission, the year you put ideas out into the world like wildfire. It’s the year you create something that outlives you, that starts a revolution within your life. It’s the year you don’t take no for an answer.

2017 is the year to prove to the world that you have every reason to be in it — that you are allowed to take up space. It is the year you finally accept that you are the only person who defines your value in life, that you are the only person who defines your worth. 2017 is the year you believe, with ruthless passion, that you have purpose, that you are deserving of the things you wish for, that you are capable of achieving every dream they called too ambitious, or too big, or too difficult. Prove them wrong. Stand up for your desire, show them what you can do with all of that fire within you.

2017 is the year to simply give a shit. The year you care deeply about the things you’re producing, the relationships you are curating, and the life you are building. It is the year you tell people how you feel, boldly and confidently. It is the year you show up for yourself; the year you celebrate the people who chose to stay in your life rather than lament over the ones who left. 2017 is the year you overwhelm yourself with feeling; the year you don’t apologize for how you shine, the year you don’t quiet the intensity of your heartbeat.

2017 is the year you jump, even when your legs are trembling."

Desperada ka pa rin..

Move on quietly, love yourself loudly.

"When someone breaks our heart, we so desperately want them to know how much they hurt us, thinking it will change something. But it doesn’t. They can respond emphatically, feel guilt, and hopefully learn how to avoid hurting someone so badly in the future, but your hurt isn’t going to change the situation and likely won’t make them feel anywhere near as bad as you do. Even if they did something horrible, they’re telling themselves whatever they can so they can feel better too, we are all always in survival mode- “They’re hurting now, but it’s what is best for them in the long run,” “It was unavoidable.” Whether their internal dialogue is true or not, we are experts at convincing ourselves that our actions are justified. Your pain is yours to work through, no person can be both the cause and solution of your hurt. Don’t be afraid of expressing it because it’s real and can be so overwhelming, but you don’t need to “prove” your pain, hoping for some sort of response. If anything, it will push them away further, and delay your moving forward. Ultimately, you don’t want to be with someone only because they don’t want you to be sad, or because they feel sorry for you. You shouldn’t guilt someone into loving you, and them pulling a lesson from the situation is their task. You work on your own."
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