How come It's this great?

I talked to him on ym. Voice chat. It's already 12:45am at that moment. I should be sleeping or my senses would just be at ease at that time. But it became the other way around. He wanted to call me at home. I said, he can call me through ym. And so we talked. At that moment, my heart is pumping hardly. I don't really know how to act. And those ideas that are rushing into my mind earlier were gone with just hearing his voice.

I really don't like this because I think its a mortal sin (exagg). But I think it really is. We're friends. Very good friends from the start of our job relationship as program heads. I fell for him 'cause of his attitude. He's a good man. And I envy her girlfriend for having him.

I just hope I get my own man too. I my man to be just like him or better. It would really be nice if he'll fall for me but its just impossible. Totally impossible.

Why does it always seem like every thing's right when it's all about him? How come I have this feeling for him.

I just hope that if this isn't true, i hope it goes away easier. I hope the feeling will not anymore grow.