Sunday, March 18, 2012

Rambling and Ranting over the same things again.:'(

My self-confidence really hit the bottom. Nanuod ako ng The Big Bang Theory para tulungan ko yung sarili ko na maalis dun yung isip ko, but I'm unsuccessful. Tumatawa ako but then naiisip ko pa din. at hindi na sya ganoon nakakatawa. I'm sad. And no one comforted me. Even my "so-called" batchmates. The hell they care. It was always like that. I don't get any sympathy from them. Lalo na kapag may nakatampuhan ako, it was always me whose always at fault. I really don't know. Masyado na ba akong emotional? But I haven't really been emotional lately. I've been suppressing all my feelings for, apparently, No one cares. Nobody really cares. May nangangamusta ba? Wala. May nag-console ba? Wala. All I'm saying is, NOBODY FUCKING CARES! So why show your emotions? People would just laugh it off, but when they're the ones with problems, I'm always there to give them moral support. Where are they when I needed them? My feelings are important to me. I had so many things to deal with lately that I have neglected my feelings. Either no one wants to talk about it, no one cares about it, or everyone is just stopping me from talking about it. Apparently, our subjects are much more important than my feelings. Maybe, that's where I have gone wrong. I have been prioritizing people over my own self. That's why I've been hurting like hell.

Bakit ako nalang palagi yung nagbibigay ng malaki? Bakit ako nalang yung nagmamahal ng matindi? Bakit ako nalang yung palaging nagbibigay ng concern.? Masyado ba 'kong humihingi ng malaking kapalit? Gusto kong magdrama, umiyak, maglupasay, mag-rant, magwala, maglabas ng sama ng loob. But then, kanino? I have always considered them as my closest friends. Bakit ganito?

Gaaah! I REALLY DON'T KNOW!

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