Happy new year!

Saying that this year was another roller coaster ride is a cliche. But, indeed it was. And for this year, I want to experience a lot of things, that I was not able to experience during 2012, and so here it goes.

+ I want to always pass all my subjects. For the past 3 semesters, I always get 1 to 2 failing grades on some subjects. I just want to get pass through law school without a failing grade and if possible, with the highest grade.
+ To always perfect the exams / get the highest score in the exam. I was contented with my grades even if it did not get to the passing rate, I was so complacent. In 2013, I would not be complacent anymore. I will study hard and will do everything so I can achieve this.
+ I want to go to Ilocos on summer and to be able to travel to another country. Visit old churches and spend more time with family and friends. I want to travel. But my lifestyle and situation has prevented me from doing this. I want to go to other places and explore many things.
+ Learn how to cook. This season has got me thinking about learning how to cook and also to bake. I want to know my way through the kitchen. And also, I want to learn it for future purposes.:D
+ Save up for something. I have to save more because I don't have a work yet. So I have an emergency budget if ever I wanted to go to other places.
+ Workout. A lot of people who has onl seen me now has commented that I have lost weight. And so I will continue that project. The project of reinventing myself. I know I still have a long way to go, but I know I can make it! AJA!
+ I want to travel with someone. I want to be able to travel with other friends, boyfriend maybe if the Lord would already grant me that gift.
+ Be able to get touchy (hug,embrace,kiss) with the people I love and be able to talk to someone with eye contact. For the past years, I have been afraid of any physical contact with other people that I have missed the great feeling of being able to express yourself through actions. I haver been afraid of expressing myself even through words because I get so emotional. I am tired of always having to put a brave front.I will be FEARLESS!
+ Make new friends and get reconnected with the old ones. My world has been always big and it has gotten smaller when I joined the fraternity. I was not able to see the world. Without bitterness in my heart, I want to go back to my home community, CFC CENTRAL B.
+ To really fall in love and life. I have been single for the past 7 or 8 years. And in the past, I think I have been contented with the "left overs". That is not satisfying. And I believe, the Lord did not plan for that. It's just that I was so stubborn. have been holding on much to long for the things of the past, for the things that are not for me. This year,I want to really fall in love. I want to feel love and be loved. I will stop from having to beg for affection and pay attention to people that truly want and respect me.
+ To Serve again. I was side-tracked by a lot of things. But I understand now that I have to be lost so that I can be found again. I want to serve again. I will use my studies to inspire more people. I know now that it's because of this that I have to go through all of those hardships and pains.

I thank the Lord for the year that was. It was because of Him that I am the person I am now. He made sure that I will be able to come HOME. And for this, I will face this year with high hopes, much love and soaring faith. :) Happy new year everyone!

Simbang Gabi Fail..

On the third morning of Simbang Gabi, I had a toothache so I have to stay up all night. When I checked my phone, it's already 5 am. I was counting on Mama to wake me up, but she woke up late too. I was planning on finishing the 9 mornings so I can try wishing for something. I think it's not yet time for what I wanted to wish.

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR.

Friends.

In moments like these,I cant help but be sad. I don't have someone to be with during simbang gabi. :( NOt that I'm seeking for a lovelife, I just want to have a companion.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

RH Bill

I think rh bill is a good bill. The only problem is its implementation. The thing is, we really a lot of great laws but the people lodged with power of implementation seems to have different interpretation of the provisions of the law. And i think,there would come a day that lawyers would not be needed anymore.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

I'm having trouble..

So here's the thing. I'm having trouble with my sleep. This started when the whole rituals fiasco started. Since then, i have been waking up in the middle of the night,shaking. I had trouble going back to sleep. So I finally decided that I have to put an end to this. Not only because of sleep but also because of a lot of things. Putting an end to it was the only solution. And so I mustered up all my will and courage,and finally told them that I am dropping of the rituals. And also, I told them that I can't stay in the group anymore.

It's been almost a month, and I still have troubles with my sleep. But I think,my mind is finally clearing up.

PS. I didn't get to see the Meteor Shower last night. I forgot. :(

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Library,Church,Milk tea and Lights

I went to Pasig Library today to review. I told my mom that I would be going to class, but I already know from last night's facebook post that there wouldn't be a class today. Okay, I planned this because, I think I need this. I can't study properly for the subjects. I need to study more because I have disaffiliated. I have to show them that at the very least, disaffiliating did me good.

I studied for 3 hours, because I went there around 2 in the afternoon and the library closes at 6 in the afternoon. But I think I'm halfway through my readings already. I plan to go there earlier tomorrow. I have a class at 6pm so I have to go at 3pm and resume reading when I get to school.

After going to the library, I went to the church. It's been a while since I last went there. I knelt and all I can say is "Lord". I don't know what to say. I don't really know what this is. I just went there to be still. I know the Lord already knew what this is. He already knew that I would be seeking His guidance. He already knew the way on how to solve this emptiness. He already knew all of these because these are part of His greater plan and I trust Him.

After that, I went to order for Lasagna Supreme at Greenwich and headed to my new found milk tea place, Floakers. This place is like Ingen. I like it because few people go there and I get to study without the people's noise.:D I am disappointed with my lasagna and thought that I shouldn't have ordered it when I found out that Floakers already has nachos and carbonara. The nachos and Bleberry Yakult was great! I will try the carbonara next time!:D

And oh, I noticed the dancing lights in the Pasig Plaza, it's like the lights show in Ayala Triangle. Great Job, Pasig!

Dilemma

So, yes, I have disaffiliated recently with my fraternity. Well, technically, one cannot disaffiliate from a fraternity but then, I regard what I did as such.

I am sad and devastated. Mourning, as you may call it. I never imagined that I would be doing this. Well I did. So what I can do is to stand firm with my decision.

Anyway, I've been thinking about things. A lot of things actually. One of these is law school. I have been beyond lazy when the semester has started. I feel tired. Why is that? I don't feel like reading anything. I don't feel like going to school except on Thursdays.

Maybe it's just now, next year, when classes resume, I would regain my stance.

I do love law school, you know.

Awkward!

I got a call from someone earlier. I did not expect him to call me again after I disaffiliated. He initiated the call, but since I am using a different phone when he called, I missed it. So I called him back, only to find out that he would make it seem like I was the one who made the call first. Hahaha! I don't want to talk to him anyway. The call was awkward, but I managed to deviate the awkwardness into something professional. Never gonna call him again! I never intended to, when I have already made up my mind and heart to disaffiliate.:D

Yes, I am having a hard time moving on. But I know I will, eventually. I want to leave everything in the past. It's a good thing the year is just ending and I am happy that I am with my community again.

My mom said, the reason why I decided to disaffiliate is because RIGHTEOUSNESS has already taken over the WRONGNESS in me. Right and Wrong is not balanced, as what they (org)has always thought us. Maybe she's right. Maybe. I don't know. But I have made up my mind. I am never coming back.

I am not yet feeling it, but I know I will be happy eventually.