Prayer Time..

Lord,

Good Morning! I've changed the time of my prayer time so that we'll meet each other easily. I think it's more convenient for the both of us. I am always awake at this time of the night and I think every people are already at peace in their beds.

Starting the day with You is so much overwhelming and exciting. For the past months or years, my prayer time was really irregular and I can't find a way to make it up to you. Good thing You placed me in YCOM. Plus You have given me so much like having a new computer set and an internet connection. Through this blessings, You assured me of our relationship. And of your unfailing and unconditional LOVE.

First, I really want to thank you for everything that You have given me. For the program of service (YCOM) that I'm into right now. Thank you for giving me the most functional, the most hectic, the hardest, the busiest and all -est program in the face of our community.

For the past years, I felt that my passion in serving is really deteriorating and I felt that I'm loosing my love for You each day. But amidst all these, I still found the reason to still serve, to still follow You, to still love You, and that is Your love for me that I can't repay and I can't measure.

I've been really exhausted over the years. I've been hurt by many people. I've been through a lot of pain and hardships in my life. But through out those years, You keep blessing me. Me and my family.

I am very grateful that I have this kind of family. For I can talk to them anytime that I want and need them and also with the manner that I like. Most of the times, my parents would notice that I'm a bit harsh when I talk to them. But It's really my way of loving them. I am a sweer person, but they don't notice it because of my harshness to them. I love my family so much. My heart is focused more on my family now.

Lord, thank you for the gift of friendship that I have with the CFC community. Before, I was condemned by everyone. All were placing a wall against me. They judged my attitude and my personality. Because of these, I've learned to leave alone, to be just by myself, to be independent and a loner. But because of the community, I found confidence in myself again. I found myself smiling and laughing again. I found myself so inloved to the community that You have given me. But what I'm most thankful about this community, I found You. I have Loved You. Through this community and the people in it, I have learned to appreciate the beauty of the things You have planned for me.

I'm also grateful for the gift of being a student. I'm thankful that I am one of those people that can afford to go to college. And also, I'm thankful that I am already in third year now. I know I have wasted those years that I must have done and performed great in my studies. I am scared that I can't get the job that I want. With high salary and with the capacity to keep my family from living a good life. I pray Lord that You would help me through my studies. I want to get high grades, I want to be a scholar also. I want to prove to people that I am not good in anything. Help me to build my goals and dreams, to fulfill it in the most possible way. Help me to study well. Give me wisdom and knowledge to study and the willingness also to do things.

I am also grateful for the gift of singleness that You have given me. Through this gift, You made me Your woman. You made me love You even more. You made me really excited about Your plans for me. I pray that someday, when the time comes that WE shall meet, he'll be the man that I have dreamed and prayed about. As of now, I pray that You guide my heart. I admit that I am weak. Often times I think of a certain feeling as love for real. But I ask You Lord to purify my intentions to people that I meet. May I treat them as my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Lord, I want to lift up to You my family, especially my brother. He is sick at the moment. Help him to believe that You are the only one who can heal him. I lift him up to you because I want Him to believe that You are real and that You live and that none can love him more than how You have loved him over the years. My parents who are aging. I lift them up to You. May they have long life and that they may see Your coming to this world. May their dreams and aspirations come true. And may they always find peace in YOU. My sister who is now in college. May she find the joy in going and studying in college. May she learn how to choose the right friends to join. And may she find enjoyment in her college Life. Ate Kat, may she find the joy in working to the call center. May she untirelessly love her family, especially her husband and daughter. May their family prosper always and may they find love amidst all the things that are happening into their life. Kim, may she continue to be the joy of our family. May she give more smiles to all of us that may lessen our burden and stresses. May our family grow more and more in loved with You each day..

I also want to lift up this comunity, the Couples for Christ-Global Missions Foundations Incorporated. May all of us find peace in serving You. May all of us be in peace amidst everything that had happened in our community. May we always find joy and love in union with You. Especially Central B, In our upcoming sector conference, may we all hear where You are really heading us. May You show us the path.and may we hear You're every message to us.

In our upcoming sector conference, I pray that my committee would be of my interest and of my forte. I pray that You will put me in a position wherein I can glorify and love You more.

I also want to lift up the current situation of our sector. May you give us everything that we desire and everything that we need.

Latly, May you gigve me the power to see, listen and believe in everything that Youy are telling me. May YCOM people live and proclaim Your message clearly.

This I pray in your most moghty name,Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, AMEN.

My Heart Says..

Dear Lord,

I’m so tired and wasted. I really don’t know what to do next. What to do first and what to expect. Although I’ve been to the YCOM SHOUT, although I’ve learned so much on my stay to the SHOUT house, my worries, my insecurities are still there.

Before, I don’t care what my family will say, what other people will say regarding my service and my conviction. But now, it seems that everything that they say or think, I take it into heart. I know it’s wrong. It’s not them whom I serve but God alone.

Before, I don’t care if people will leave me. I don’t care if people have hard feelings towards me. I have learned to live alone. But now, it seems that I can’t live without them.
I cared about what they think. I cared about what they say.

I really don’t get it. Why suddenly I have this feelings of insecurities. I hate this feeling but I can’t control myself.

I am also bothered about my prayer time. No matter ho I busy myself on scheduling it, still it really won’t work. I can’t even concentrate on reflecting, on starting my plan of having a prayer notebook.

I love writing. I thought Ate Dana’s sharing will inspire me and motivate me into keeping my prayer time regular and strong. I am so concerned with this because I know I have to pray, I need to pray.

Lord, please help me regain my strength and passion in serving. I so love you Lord. I don’t want this feeling anymore. Fire me up again, please.

This I pray in your most mighty name, Amen.

Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.

AMEN.

Gospel for the Day..

An Upright Intention in Almsgiving, Prayer and Fasting

(Jesus said to His disciples,) [1] “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in Heaven.

[2] “Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [3] But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, [4] so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

[5] “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [6] But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

[16] “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. [17] But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, [18] that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”


*** Commentary ***

1-18. “Piety”, here, means good works (cf. note on Matthew 5:6). Our Lord is indicating the kind of spirit in which we should do acts of personal piety. Almsgiving, fasting and prayer were the basic forms taken by personal piety among the chosen people --- which is why Jesus refers to these three subjects. With complete authority He teaches that true piety must be practiced with an upright intention, in the presence of God and without any ostentation. Piety practiced in this way implies exercising our faith in God who sees us --- and also in the safe knowledge that He will reward those who are sincerely devout.

5-6. Following the teaching of Jesus, the Church has always taught us to pray even when we were infants. By saying “you” (singular) our Lord is stating quite unequivocally the need for personal prayer --- relating as child to Father, alone with God.

Public prayer, for which Christ’s faithful assemble together, is something necessary and holy; but it should never displace obedience to this clear commandment of our Lord: “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father”.

The Second Vatican Council reminds us of the teaching and practice of the Church in its liturgy, which is “the summit toward which the activity of the Church is directed; it is also the fount from which all her power flows [...]. The spiritual life, however, is not limited solely to participation in the liturgy. The Christian is indeed called to pray with others, but he must also enter into his bedroom to pray to his Father in secret; furthermore, according to the teaching of the Apostle, he must pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)” (“Sacrosanctum Concilium”, 10 and 12).
A soul who really puts his Christian faith into practice realizes that he needs frequently to get away and pray alone to his Father, God. Jesus, who gives us this teaching about prayer, practiced it during His own life on earth: the holy Gospel reports that He often went apart to pray on His own: “At times He spent the whole night in an intimate conversation with His Father. The Apostles were filled with love when they saw Christ pray” (St. J. Escriva, “Christ Is Passing By”, 119; cf. Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; etc.). The Apostles followed the Master’s example, and so we see Peter going up to the rooftop of the house to pray in private, and receiving a revelation (cf. Acts 10:9-16). “Our life of prayer should also be based on some moments that are dedicated exclusively to our conversation with God, moments of silent dialogue” (“ibid”, 119).

16-18. Starting from the traditional practice of fasting, our Lord tells us the spirit in which we should exercise mortification of our senses: we should do so without ostentation, avoiding raise, discreetly; that way Jesus’ words will not apply to us: “they have their reward”; it would have been a very bad deal. “The world admires only spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent” (St. J. Escriva, “The Way”, 185).

Source: “The Navarre Bible: Text and Commentaries”. Biblical text from the Revised Standard Version and New Vulgate.
Commentaries by members of the Faculty of Theology, University of Navarre, Spain.
Published by Four Courts Press, Kill Lane, Blackrock, Co. Dublin, Ireland, and by Scepter Publishers in the United States. * gso/eao

Felt really bad..

Tonight's household I think was the worst. I don't know but for me it really is. I never felt really that bad about myself until lastt night. Almost all were there. Doyle and KC, Nelman and KR, JJ and Aisha, Pedro and Nian, Ags, Pipz and me. The Household was suppose to start at 7pm, I arrived at 7pm, but only aisha was there. We waited for the others and guess what, we started at 10pm. As we moved to the sharing part, All were exhausted and when it was my turn, I felt really bad because they weren't listening. I saw them talking and chatting to each other as if I wasn't talking. I felt really bad. Why do people don't pay attention to me. Am I talking of nonsense things?
I know they are tired, all of us were,but I listened to their sharing. How come they do things like that to me everytime it's my turn to talk.

How I wish, my voice would be so powerful and attractive.

Many say that my voice is so loud, but why is it that when I talk of things that are relevant, it seems that they don't hear it.

"Listen to me for some time. Please.."

Friday the 13th..

obviously its friday, and the 13th day of the month (according to the title of this blog entry). This day really sucks.. From the moment I got out of bed 'till I went home.

9:15 Got out of bed. I don't really want to get up nut my tummy ached. I need to get up. I have a 12pm class, so I need to fix myself.

10:15 Ate breakfast. I don't want hotdogs and eggs because I'm avoiding it. But still my mom cooked those.

10:30 Went to school. I rode a jeep going quiapo. The jeep was very fast so the wind blew my hair and as usual, I had a frizzy hair.

11:15 Arrived at school. I don't understand why some students prefer to just sit at corridors and plant boxes or roam around the campus and shout, "Edukasyon, Edukasyon.. Dagdagan dagdagan.." Hello! What do they get from doing stuffs like those?! They are irritating those people who wanted quietness and peace (like me).

12:00 Marketing Research. Prof. Alcantara came late. My classmates were so noisy. I hate noise. I hate disorderliness!!!

2:00 Math in Business. What duh?! The other section took our classroom. We stayed at the corridor, which I hate doing the most! RAWR!

2:30 onwards What duh?! All classes are cancelled. I thought It was okay so I can prepare my things and come to the YCOM SHOUT earlier than expected.

5:30 Home. My mom won't allow me to come to the SHOUT! Plus the dinner at tita vicky's house, I won't be able to attend both.T_T

8:00 Writing this blog.

This day sucks.. I hate this day!

What duh..?

It's independence day but I don't feel a single independence in my life.. YCOM Shout tomorrow and HELLO, my parents won't support me. My registration fee, all the things needed. They would allow me to come, syempre I need money.. Eh they won't even bother to give me a single centavo.. Tapos sasabihin nila, do your best in service, eh hindi nman nila ko supported..=(

What duh? Kailangan ko kaya 'to. And HELLO, bago kaya ako sa program.. Tapos nakakahiya na kina tita lalen and sa ibang mga coordinators, everytime I would have stuffs like this, palagi nalang wlang money tapos after nung event, kung anu-ano yung meron sa bahay..

Don't they know na ako yung napapahiya.. And besides, buti nga hindi ako humihingi ng money for gimmicks and stuffs.. Duh!! Nakakainis na..=|

Perstaym sa Blogspot..

First time ko sa blogspot. I've tried making one when I was still in College but resources won't allow me to have one..
Finally after several years, I got one..
Oh well, I think I won't really be able to maintain this 'cause I'm pretty much into multiply.=)
As i've said, I just want to try it.
I think it's cool.
A bit.:|