I want you now

I want you now.

I want your tongue in my pussy. I want you to kiss me again intensely like there's no tomorrow. I want you to make cum that body shaking orgasm.

I know you can.

I want to be a real citizen of the world.

I want to be an international lawyer, deal about issues on a global scale. Look at the world as a whole because I believe that the world issues are interconnected and we should look at it in a bigger picture, on a global scale.

I want to be a writer. I want to write about things that matter. Things that make us who we really are. Things that make sense. Things that will make us figure out what we really need and love and how to get by with life in a world such as ours.

I want to be an events organizer. I want to see the look of happiness in people's faces when they see that their ideal events happen, when their ideas come to life. I love seeing my ideas come to life. I love making other people happy and that I made it possible for them to be happy even for just a little while, in that event.

I also want to travel. I want to meet new people. Get to know their native language. Immerse in their culture. Learn their way of life.

I want to be a real citizen of the world.

When this is over..

I promised myself that I would hold my heart back for a little while longer. But I struggle in not telling you that I love you.

I still want you to feel that I care. I want you. I want us but I don't say I love you anymore.

There are a lot of things that I want to do with you after all of this is over. I want to see you and talk to you everyday because I miss you everyday. I want to kiss you and make love to you as often as we can, as long as we can.

But I know, the day that I see you again, the moment that we touch or kiss again, I'll be wanting for more. I'll be selfish again. You are addictive! 😂😂😂

So for now, I don't want to see you yet. I'll leave it to fate and to you if you want to see me too. If you can't make it to the send off, it's okay. If we won't see each other during the Bar month, it's okay too.

Bar muna. Pangarap muna. Next time nalang tayo kapag totoong oras na natin.😊

How dare you use the word never!

How dare you use the word never!

You never loved me. You never cared. You never tried to know me.

Huling Paalam..

Binalikan ko yung mga previous conversations natin this week, pati email ko, pati mga previous emails ko sayo. Klaro naman na eh. Ako nalang 'tong gagang umaasa at desperada na. Malinaw namang ayaw mo na.

Hindi na mahalaga kung gusto mo pa. Sa totoo lang, hindi na maganda yung nangyayari sakin. Hindi lang naman ikaw ang may kasalanan dito. Mainly, ako talaga 'to, kc pinabayaan kong umabot sa ganito. Pinabayan kong magkaroon ka ng malakas na hold over me. Pinabayaan kong mawala yung totoong ako.

Hindi mo kasalanan entirely kasi hindi naman sana nangyari 'to sakin kung hindi ko hinayaan di'ba? Naging mahina ko. Sabi ko sa umpisa, hindi ko gustong mawala yung ako sa relasyon natin, pero yun yung nangyari. Pero buti nalang hindi pa huli ang lahat. Pweede pa rin naman natin siguro respetuhin ang isat isa. Magiging abogado tayo parehas in the future. Kaya tama lang na magfocus tayo sa mga goals natin sa buhay.

Hindi na mahalaga ngayon kung gusto ko pa ba, o kung gusto mo pa rin ba, ang importante, magiging abogado tayo. Ako sa 2017, ikaw sa 2018. Walang ibang mahalaga ngayon kundi ang Bar.

Salamat sa lahat ng tulong, pagpapasensya at pagintindi. Tingin ko naman magiging friends pa rin tayo, hindi pa nga lang ngayon. Pero okay tayo, db? Anyway, good luck satin!

Good bye.

Ian,

Today, I woke up to another realization that you are gone. You are too far gone. So I decided to not feel this pain anymore. I have to move on. If you won't give me peace, it's okay. It's going to be okay.

Bago natin 'to sinimulan, sinabi ko na sayo na baka makaapekto 'to sa review ko, na kaya kita paulit ulit na binibitawan, dahil baka masira ako. Oo, makulit ako kasi pabalik balik pa din ako sayo. At tinatanggap mo pa rin ako at napaniwala mo nga ako na baka totoong mahal mo nga ako, na baka kakampi nga kita. Baka totoo, hindi ko na alam. Hindi ko din maintindihan kung bakit tayo tumagal ng 5 buwan na ganun. Sa tuwing aalis ako, at tatanggapin mo ko, nabubuwag ang mga pader na matagal kong ginawa para protektahan ako. At ngayon, wala na sila, wala ka na, sira ako. Pero sana may natira pang ako dahil kailangan magpatuloy ako. Magpapatuloy ako. You don't destroy the people you love. This goes for me too, so, I'm sorry if I have destroyed you in any way.

I don't know what happened last June but that is when I felt something changed. There are still questions in my mind that I don't know if I'll ever get the answers to. Mahal na mahal kita at ikaw lang ang gusto ko. But I must move on. Pagod na ko umiyak. Pagod na ko hintayin kung magkakaintindihan pa ba tayo. For months, ikaw lang ang ginusto ko. Ikaw lang. Mali ko din na pinaikot ko ang sarilo ko sayo. Akala ko kasi magkasama pa tayo eh. Mag-isa nalang pala ako kasi pinili mo din na mag-isa ka nalang. Pwedeng mali tayo, sa simula palang.

Sorry ha, pero ayokong mabitter, ayoko ng may maramdamang kahit ano kapag maiisip kita o maalala ko tayo, even remotely connected with you. Call me heartless again, but I want to treat as if it never happened, we never happened. Hindi ko na kayang masaktan at malungkot araw araw sa reality na wala ka na talaga sakin.Hindi ko na kaya isipin kung babalik ka pa ba. Hindi ko na afford maout of focus dahil alam mo naman, iniisip kita. Hindi ko alam kung para sakin tong ginagawa mo, hindi ko alam kung anong intensyon mo, pero isa lang ang alam ko ngayon, nasasaktan ako, ilang buwan na rin naman na pakiramdam ko, single ako. I want to move on. We were classmates. Period. I will move on. As we said, focus on the Bar. I hope not to see you in court in the future.

Iintindihin pa rin.

Gusto ko lang naman na sabihin mong mahal mo pa rin ako. Na ako pa rin. Ako lang ang babae sa buhay mo. Na wala kang iba. Ako lang ang gusto mo. Pero wala. Wala eh. Busy ka, malamang di mo napansin yun. Nagaaway na tayo, trabaho pa din inuuna mo. I love and hate that about you. Hay.