Someday..

I'll let you go for now,
But it doesn't mean
That I don't love you any more..

I'm just thinking
of what might happen,

maybe tomorrow..

someday..

in the time that we both don't expect

we'll meet

and

maybe..

just maybe..

it would be OUR time..

Question I chose to dwell into..

I've been really busy these months, I haven't had the time to update my blog. The posts were cross-posted from my multiply.

I really wanted to blog about certain things. Things that keeps bugging my mind for some years now.. I don't know I still feel that there are still no answers to this things yet I insist to dwell on it..

The question of identity was always there. Was I really being myself? Was I performing things the way I wanted it to be?

And there is also the question of faith. Am I faithful? Am I loyal to my God?

The ultimate question was for love. Do I really love Heartthrob? What are the chances that we would end up together (because I prayed for it)? Is he the 'it' for me?

I'll be sharing one of our YM conversations and the short story that he had posted..

Tuesday, 9 October, 2001
Heartthrob is busy (1:11 PM) - tonight i write
katrina (1:11 PM): may blog ka pla?
Heartthrob (1:11 PM): huh?
Heartthrob (1:11 PM): where?
katrina (1:12 PM): joke lng.. kinabahan ka?
Heartthrob (1:12 PM): nah, not really
katrina (1:12 PM): anong sinusulat mo?
Heartthrob (1:13 PM): an artic for jru's newsletter
Heartthrob (1:13 PM): my students asked me to write one
katrina (1:13 PM): ooh.. what about?
Heartthrob(1:16 PM): stuff
Heartthrob (1:16 PM): about my stay and everything
katrina (1:17 PM): hanggang kelan ka ba dun?
Heartthrob(1:17 PM): 'til end of feb
katrina (1:17 PM): ilang hours pt nyo?
Heartthrob (1:19 PM): 300
Heartthrob (1:19 PM): haha
katrina (1:20 PM): patapos na?
katrina (1:20 PM): parang ang bilis..
katrina (1:21 PM): ilang hours a day?
Heartthrob (1:21 PM): tagal nga e
Heartthrob (1:21 PM): officially, 5 hours 20 mins lng ako in a day
katrina (1:22 PM): ah.. akala ko from morning till afternoon ka..
Heartthrob (1:22 PM): oo nga
Heartthrob (1:22 PM): from 7am to 5pm
Heartthrob (1:23 PM): but my official time inside the classroom is just 5.20
Heartthrob(1:23 PM): bale 5hrs40mins break ko
katrina (1:23 PM): sayang yung 5 hrs..
katrina (1:24 PM): sa JRU ka lang nun?
Heartthrob (1:26 PM): madalas
Heartthrob(1:26 PM): bonding with classmates/students
Heartthrob (1:26 PM): sometimes i go to pup
katrina (1:27 PM): so afternoon tlga mga classes mo?
katrina (1:27 PM): i mean sa JRU?
Heartthrob (1:28 PM): no, i have classes at 7am
katrina (1:28 PM): till?
Heartthrob (1:28 PM): 5pm
katrina (1:28 PM): your sched sucks..
Heartthrob (1:34 PM): yah, i know
Heartthrob(1:34 PM): it's because on tuesdays and fridays, i have classes on pup
Heartthrob(1:34 PM): 10:30 to 1:30
Heartthrob (1:35 PM): so they gave me that 4hr break from 9:40 to 1:40
katrina (1:36 PM): eh bakit nakikita kita kpag monday?
Heartthrob(1:36 PM): coz sometimes i go to pup on my break
Heartthrob (1:37 PM): especially on my earlier ojt days
Heartthrob (1:37 PM): i'm not close to my students yet
Heartthrob(1:37 PM): so i have noone to talk to
Heartthrob (1:37 PM): my classmates & i have different scheds
Heartthrob (1:37 PM): and we don't match
katrina (1:38 PM): kpag gabi? nakita kita ng mga ilang mondays sa school..
katrina (1:38 PM): 9pm na ata yun..
Heartthrob(1:39 PM): ah, i have classes at night sa pup
katrina (1:40 PM): ooh.. that explains it..
katrina (1:41 PM): so kamusta ang pagtuturo?
Heartthrob (1:43 PM): masaya naman
Heartthrob(1:43 PM): i enjoy it a lot
katrina (1:43 PM): so go kna magteacher pag graduate?
Heartthrob (1:44 PM): not really
Heartthrob(1:44 PM): we'll see
katrina (1:45 PM): bakit may iba ka pa bang gustong job?
katrina (2:16 PM): ganda nug mga stories..

it was always me that started the conversation and also that was left hanging..

How to install LOVE? from kuya ronnel fastidio

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

Customer Service Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before It can "LOVE"others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

well well well...lupet di ba? and kahit magkavirus pa, you can always reinstall LOVE....lalalalalala

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1)Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4 )Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8)Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F* YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3

I don't want you to go..

Here I am
alone and I don’t understand
exactly how it all began
the dream just walked away
I’m holding on
when all but the passion’s gone

[chorus]
And from the start
maybe I was tryin’ to hard
it’s crazy coz it’s breakin’ my heart
things can fall apart but I know,
that I don’t want you to go

And heroes die,
when they ignore the cause inside
but they learn from what’s left behind
and fight for something else
And so it goes
that we have both learned how to grow

[chorus]
And from the start
maybe we were tryin’ to hard
it’s crazy coz it’s breakin’ our hearts
things can fall apart but I know,
that I don’t want you to go

Oh it’s just too much
takin’ all the whole world all by myself
but it’s not enough
unless I stop trusting somebody else,
somebody else
and love again

[chorus]
And from the start
maybe we were tryin’ to hard
it’s crazy coz it’s breakin’ our hearts
things can fall apart but I know,
that I don’t want you to go

maybe we were tryin’ to hard
it’s crazy coz it’s breakin’ our hearts
things can fall apart but I know,
that I don’t want you to go

Breakdown

Matagal tagal ko na 'tong hinahanap.. paborito namin 'to ng kuya ko.. namimiss ko sya.. Dahil siguro sa bigat ng dibdib ko pero hnd ko nman tlga maiiyak nung mga nakakaraang araw, parang gusto ko nalang tlgang magbreakdown.. Gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak muna pra maging magaan ang dibdib ko.. hnd ko na kcnapapancn kung paano nagiging okay ang mga bgay bgay sa buhay ko tapos biglang babalik.. BREAKDOWN (Mariah Carey) break break down still it breakin' me on down break break down still it bring me on down break break down still it breakin' me on down break break down still it breakin' me on down. Verse 1 mariah: you called yesterday to basically say that you care for me but that you're just not in love immediately i pretended to be feeling similarily and led you to believe i was o.k to just walk away from the one thing that's unyielding and sacred to me CHORUS well i guess i'm trying not to be nonchalant about it and i'm going to extremes to prove i'm fine without you but in reality i'm slowly losing my mind underneath the guise of smile gradually i'm dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cuz i don't want to reveal the fact that i'm suffering so i wear my disguise til i go home at night and i turn down all the lights and then i break down and cry Verse 2 mariah: so what do you do when somebody so devoted to suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue of the pain that rejection is putting you through do you cling to your pride and sing "i will survive" (gotta get control, roll, roll, roll on) 4X do you hold on in vain as they as they just slip away CHORUS well i guess i'm trying not to be nonchalant about it and i'm going to extremes to prove i'm fine without you but in reality i'm slowly losing my mind underneath the guise of smile gradually i'm dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cuz i don't want to reveal the fact that i'm suffering so i wear my disguise til i go home at night and i turn down all the lights and then i break down and cry Interlude Wish: yeah, c' mon, yeah, c' mon, c' mon break break break down roll roll roll on still it breakin' me on down roll roll roll on break break break down roll roll roll on still it breakin' me on down Bridge Wish: better break it down only if you let it everyday the situation is rockin' my mind tryin' to break me down but i won't let it forget it ( forget it) Krayzie: i'll be feelin' like it gonna break me down turnin' me around stressin' me out i'm thinkin it gonna get out and let me release some stress ( stress ) Wish: don't ever wanna feel no pain ( pain ) hoping for the sun but it looks like rain ( rain, rain, rain ) oh, i just wanna maintain Krayzie: yeah, i'm feelin' precious, yo but never the less krayzie won't fall so-ber, is headin' near ( near ) CHORUS well i guess i'm trying not to be nonchalant about it and i'm going to extremes to prove i'm fine without you but in reality i'm slowly losing my mind underneath the guise of smile gradually i'm dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cuz i don't want to reveal the fact that i'm suffering so i wear my disguise til i go home at night and i turn down the lights and then i break down and cry Repeat 2X ( break break down... down until fade )

Central B Sector Kasangga

A first for this year!

Venue: Magdalena Chapel(1 tricycle ride from pasig palengke)

Attendees:
Community Based- chapter heads, cluster heads, program heads
Campus Based- Core, MV's and program heads
High School Based- Core, HPV's, and program heads
Torch- Household Heads and program heads
SIGA- Core and program heads
Ycom- Crew and program heads
KFC-Cluster kuya's and ate's, program heads