Another Friendship Failed.. Another Blessing in Disguise?

And for the nth time.. I have another failed friendship.. Really, what's going on? Or what's with me.. Urgh..

Today, I asked Diana (my classmate) why she was ignoring me last tuesday and also why she's not able to look me in the eyes today when we saw each other. She said, she doesn't want to deceive me anymore.

This is what she really told me thru text:

"Xgeh d2 q na sbhn.. Mgging honest na q, Unang dhlan dhl ngtmpo xken xobra ang grupo ko dhl sobra aqong lapt sau, aware k nman xguo na ayaw nla xau.. ok lng sna un, e peo kc ang d q matake ay yang atityud mu... Alam mu namang d q gus2 ugli ni honey, mgkaprehas pla kau, isa pa cnadya q dn ung pagbulabog ng 2l0g mu,s0ri, huh!, ayst...Pxnxa na d q gus2ng plztikn k kya lau n lng aq..."

I say, WTF! Why the hell would I deserve this kind of treatment? all of them were really pissing me. And I can't talk back. I mean, I can't right? It's not appropriate to talk back and besides I can't change her, she already has decided. Why the hell am I like this? Or what the hell is wrong with me? why are all the people I love's been ditching me? It's not like I have done something grave. I swear what the f***?!!! I really don't know what's happening..

It wasn't like I was asking for our exclusivity. It wasn't like I'm asking her to get out of her group and join me to sulk in my misery. It wasn't like I was asking her to give me advices on my problems. It wasn't like I told her to just be friends with me and ditch her other friends. It wasn't like I was owning her.

NO!! It wasn't like that!

All I want is for her to be a friend to me. To be a listener when I can't take it anymore. To be able to pray for me when everything fails and I've got no one to back me up. All I want is for her to be there when I look back and needed a hug because I've been frightened of what's in front of me. All I want is for her to be there when I need her and also to be there for her when she's the one in need.

I'm not asking much..

I just her want to be a true friend to me because I really need one because we both agree that it's really hard to find real friends in the four walls of our classroom.. Everybody's being a fake, including us. I thought we agreed on this but I was wrong.

I realized, I have really few friends but nonetheless, these few haven't left me since the day we met until now. They are true to me, and I can feel it my bones. They met me at my best, they saw me thru my weakest and they've gone with me thru my worst yet they stood by me, with firm love and understanding.

Thanks friends, who's always been there for me thru it all. You know who you are..:)

Yes, I am hurt, but still, I am thankful that this event happened to me now. I believe that God is up to something great for me. He's molding me into someone greater, someone more awesome than I thought I could be because I can feel it. The molding and crafting really hurts for now, but I know I still have to endure it to enjoy myself better and also to serve and love more people in better way that I can.

Just like an exquisite vase, the potter breaks an old pot into pieces, heats it in a high temperature and molds it to be the best shape it could be.

I am the vase and God is my potter..